It's Not Political, It's Personal

Relocating from Indianapolis to Kalamazoo left me without a television for seven days. I didn’t find it catastrophic, but I did miss my daily morning news fix. Now that I’m more informed in the mornings I wonder if I wasn’t saved some heartache last week. After tuning back in I’ve found that the political spin taking place on social issues has made me question the soul of this country.

There are several public debates taking place about extremely private issues. Laws are being considered that will impact personal freedoms. These freedoms are being questioned based on religious beliefs and morality. I have purposefully refrained from publicly expressing my stance on these volatile issues, but I believe that we all have the right to mandate our behavior based on religious beliefs. Yet when government makes following a religious belief a matter of law it is no longer personal and belief no longer dictates behavior. The avoidance of breaking federal law dictates behavior, not the desire to be moral. More importantly, though, our choice to conduct ourselves under the direction of religious doctrine does not include forcing that same doctrine on others. Where is the choice and love in that?

It grieves me to think that those proposing such monumental changes will never be directly impacted by them. They will never be denied equal rights and benefits because of who they love. They will never have to testify in front of a room full of people about the worst moment of their lives. They will never have to live in the jarring reality of life after a rape resulting in pregnancy. How is it then that they have the right to make that decision for those who will? 

No matter what I elect to dictate my choices, I cannot justify mandating my behavior, lifestyle, and actions on anyone else, let alone the rest of the country. I am deeply saddened to see such emotional issues driving so many apart instead of binding us together. We’ve stepped back in time to incorporate different forms of ‘acceptable’ discrimination and tell an entire gender that they can’t, aren’t smart enough, or can’t be trusted enough to make their own decisions. I thought history taught us better and hoped we simply knew better.

Voting on these issues will impact an election, but they’ll impact the lives of our friends, neighbors, coworkers, siblings, daughters, sons, and grandchildren more. The outcome will mark a significant change in our country’s history, but will also determine the direction of our future. These debates will have political implications, but the personal ones are far greater. I am so grieved because I don’t have to quote some convincing statistic or read a catchy headline to place a face with a story. I already lived the story with people I love. I know those who do not have equal rights, who have been raped—and can adequately define it without the help of someone who hasn’t—and who have raised children resulting from rape. When I think of the choices that have or could have been stripped from them, in addition to the choices they’ve already lost, it hurts my heart. These potential policy changes aren’t political, they are personal. Extremely personal. For all of those I love and admire I am going to vote, but I may have to turn off the news until November if I am to hold on to the hope that we will grow into ‘the land of the free and the home of the brave’.

This isn’t intended to be a political post, just one that will encourage thoughtful reflection. One that will lead us to ask some fundamental questions about intention and truth. One that will help us to understand that hurting individuals hurts us collectively.

Expect Greatness

Life can be drastically altered in seconds. Most often we think of drastic alterations as illness, an accident, or the death of a loved one. However, how long does it take for life to change in our favor? How long does it take for us to get that one phone call, message, or letter letting us know that what we hoped for is on the horizon? Life can be drastically altered in seconds, but not only in tragedy and pain. There are times when we are simply moments away from stepping closer to personal fulfillment. 

Expectation requires us to believe in an occurrence that hasn’t happened. It is associated with our ability to imagine. Unfortunately, most either expect negativity or nothing at all. The avoidance of disappointment has hindered many from believing in or expecting greatness. 

Maybe you allowed yourself to believe in a relationship that failed. Maybe you let your hopes run wild for a job that you didn’t get. Maybe you have had hardship after hardship so you refuse to hope for anything better. Disappointment can be painful, devastating, and even embarrassing. However, disappointment does not have to get the last word. Disappointment only wins when we are so fearful of feeling it again that we stop believing. When we refuse to believe that our lives will improve, we give up hope, and giving up hope is dangerous.

If expectation requires imagination why not expect something favorable instead of something to be feared? Life can change in a moment. I challenge you to expect positive change. I challenge you to consider that you are on the brink of the life you seek. I challenge you to use your imagination in your favor by expecting greatness.

Transitions

For weeks I have wanted to share my perspective on transitions. I’d been through enough of them to know how to articulate the process. I was very familiar with the uncertainty, frustration, waiting, more frustration, and finally, clarity. I could talk about the struggle of wanting to peek into the future to know just a little bit more before having to make a decision, but still having to make the decision. Yet, there was a transition I needed to complete before I could write this post.

After spending four months traveling around the world, I fluctuated between desperately wanting to start a new life and enjoying freedom of not having to rush into a routine. What I longed for most was a definitive answer. I found myself unclear, uncertain, and approaching a fearful place. I honestly didn’t know what would be my best course of action. Was I supposed to become more focused on creating the next phase of my life or was I to learn to appreciate the free space?

I can honestly say that even in my moments of doubt, I knew in my soul that I simply needed to trust. Trusting is obviously easier said than implemented, but I found comfort in knowing that all I needed to do was trust. That realization gave me reason to believe that everything would work out in my favor, for my benefit. Trusting through the transition gave me hope even if it didn’t always make me feel hopeful.

In the months that followed, I watched others make progress, get closer to their next phase, and get the answers I wanted. The more time that passed, the harder I had to work to keep my feelings stable and trust that I would eventually receive all that I needed. It took eight months, but all of the concrete answers I sought were delivered. Suddenly, all of the waiting, uncertainty, and frustration dissolved. I am clear, thankful, and hopeful. As I walk into the next phase of my life, everything makes sense. Every single thing!
 

Transitions are difficult, especially while we’re in the middle of them. What would happen, though, if we conditioned ourselves to appreciate the freedom that exists in uncertain spaces instead of fearing it? How would uncertainty feel if we treated it as a favorable circumstance instead of a threatening one? When we reach the end of a transition we often have an ‘aha’ moment, a time when it all makes sense. All of the wavering. All of the seemingly haphazard events. All of the rejection that pushed us to become more and better. We come out of a haze and into clarity. If our past has shown us that we’ll end up in a more favorable place at the end of a transition than we were in the beginning, we need to learn a better, more healthy way to get through the in-between stage of transitioning.

Too Familiar

Midwestern June sky.

One of my favorite sights is the sky. There is something peaceful, magical, and stunning about its appearance. I have interrupted conversations in order to point out and take pictures of extraordinary colors, seemingly painted rays of light, and stark, white clouds. While I have fully appreciated exceptional skies in different locations, I have interrupted significantly less conversation to point out the sky’s beauty when I wasn’t traveling. I had to ask if I was so accustomed to the miracle of the sun rising and setting over me at home that I failed to appreciate it. Had the incredible beauty that I witnessed daily become less incredible or had I become too familiar with it?

The idea of becoming too familiar with beauty led me to analyze how I view habitual surroundings. I discovered that I took on an extremely limited and short-sighted line of vision when I was in my routine. While riding down the street at home I would only see the next light so I wouldn’t miss my turn or the car in front of me so I wouldn’t hit it. I only saw the scenes in my immediate line of vision. Yet, while traveling, I didn’t see cities in that same limited view. My focus expanded. I looked for more than the upcoming block or the car riding in front of me. While in another city, I absorbed views broadly and intentionally. I purposefully sought out an experience. I expected beauty so I experienced beauty.

The show that the sky puts on in any location is artistic, but we often overlook its beauty while in familiar surroundings. If we can overlook the beauty that exists in something as pervasive as the sky, what else have we become so familiar with that we no longer see its beauty? Beauty exists in the sky, but beauty also exists in laughter, health, intelligence, strength, talent, feelings, and in love. Whether it’s beauty we see or experience, we must not become so familiar with it that we are no longer moved by its presence.

A New Narrative

I get a kick out of hearing my grandmother talk about me as a toddler. She chuckles as she says that I didn’t need to be entertained and then shares examples of my independence. Her trip down memory lane usually ends with her telling me, “You’ve always been that way.” 

My grandmother’s reflection is harmless, but the narratives people recite can usher in stagnation. Repeatedly hearing what we’ve always done or who we’ve always been may lead us to believe that we are unable to create a new narrative for ourselves, even when we desire change. Maybe you were told you have always been a quitter. Perhaps people constantly remind you that you made bad relationship or financial decisions. Even if some truth exists in the reminders of others, even if you are certain that your behavior supports those statements, you still have the power to create a new narrative.

One of the greatest benefits of tomorrow is the ability to create change. You are not required to meet expectations based on the past. Maybe you quit more than you should. Maybe your past is filled with questionable relationship or financial choices. No matter what your past reveals, you have the power to create a different future. You do not have to live out the familiar, old, and repetitive narrative that others—including you—insist on replaying. Give yourself the room you need to grow. Create change by believing you are capable of change. Create change by creating a new narrative of yourself, for yourself.

Power of Possibility

I had the pleasure of spending a few days in the beautiful city of Santa Barbara, California. Riding up Gibraltar Rock I experienced magnificent views of the ocean on one side, and even more majestic mountains on the other. As I observed the incredible natural beauty, I was amazed by a simple realization; I witnessed such stunning sights because many years ago someone believed. I could feel such magnificence because a long time ago someone believed that building a road on a mountain was possible. Someone had the confidence and freedom to look at that massive stone and think, “A road needs to be up there and I know how to make that happen.”

All of us have the ability to stimulate change. Unfortunately, many of us doubt our level of impact before we even start. We convince ourselves not to try. We tell ourselves we’re not enough. Not smart enough, strong enough, talented enough, good enough, young enough, nor experienced enough. We essentially believe that we aren’t deserving enough to live in the realm of possibility. Fortunately, that isn’t the truth. Instead of doubting our abilities or comparing our life’s work to others, we should challenge ourselves to walk in the freedom of believing. We should experience the power of possibility.

When you entertain possibility you possess power. Limitations are viewed as temporary. Fear of failure no longer holds your thoughts captive. Excuses loose their grip. Would you prefer limitations, fear, and excuses to have the greatest impact in your life? Or would you prefer your life to be a reflection of freedom, empowerment, and possibility? Someone looked at a mountain and saw possibility. What do you see when you gaze at the mountains in your life?

No matter what others have said, or who didn’t believe in your talents, or what you may have convinced yourself, you are enough to alter your world. You are simply enough. Change your mind, treat yourself to the benefit of believing, and give yourself permission to experience the power of possibility.

Unexpected Support

As I’m sure you can relate, during my most challenging times my relationships were redefined. In any situation when the truth doesn’t line up with expectation or desire, it is harsh. As some of the major players in my life were unable to provide the level of support that I felt situations warranted, I had to accept some truths that I didn’t anticipate nor want to accept.

We often deal on opposite ends of the same spectrum. Our most influential lessons usually stem from hardship. Our greatest joys are magnified by the mere thought of past pains. Gratitude is amplified when we consider previous lack. When we feel uncomfortable we only need to look at our past to know that we are more than likely on the brink of major change. Without discontent we would never strive for better because undesirable feelings are what prompt us toward introspection and evaluation. Essentially, we don’t change our lives without first changing our minds.

Accepting truths regarding some of my relationships was initially distressing. However, my need to shift out of discomfort prompted me to evaluate. Based on history, I knew that I would receive all of the support I needed. I received all the support I needed because there were always unexpected sources of support. Instead of focusing on the disappointment, I focused on the gift of unexpected sources of support. I could not allow the absence of someone to dilute the presence of anyone. It is difficult to discover who cannot be what you wished, but it is even more wonderful to discover who becomes more than you hoped.