Beliefs

Ask about someone's beliefs and you are asking about the core of who she is. It's no wonder that religion is one of the most emotionally charged and personal conversations in which you can engage. For that reason, I typically refrain from posting or even commenting on posts via social media about political issues with religious implications or religious debates stemming from politics. Though I don't publically have those discussions, I am often grieved by how this country is becoming increasingly divided on public issues because of private beliefs. The visceral reactions that radiate from the monitor of my computer screen send me through a range of emotions and lead me to ask, "Yes, but what if you're wrong?"

Like most of my friends, I grew up attending religious services. Over the years, I came to understand every moment like a well-rehearsed play. I knew that depending on how the keyboardist played certain notes to a certain tempo whether we were going to sing for two more minutes or twenty. I knew exactly which scriptures would accompany specific messages. I knew what responses the pastor was seeking as s/he ended the sermon and whether that sermon had two closings or four. Part of that ritual and knowing it so well led me to challenge what I was taught and that was terrifying because what I was taught is what I believed.

While it was jarring for me to challenge my beliefs, I am now stronger, freer, and living a fuller life than I imagined. Asking hard questions brought clarity and peace. I considered those living the lifestyle I strived for. I learned lessons from spiritual leaders outside of the sources I was presented. I listened to what was within and realized that spirituality is much larger than the boundaries of religion.

Challenge yourself. If you are willing to base your entire life, and in some cases, demand that others do the same, on a system of beliefs why not ask some hard questions? How do you feel about the way your life expresses your beliefs? Even more important, does your life express your beliefs? Do you fully comprehend your beliefs? Are they truly yours or those of your parents, grandparents, pastor, preacher, bishop, or priest? Finally, here's the toughest question: what if you are wrong? How would you feel about the love and compassion (or lack thereof) you demonstrated? How would you feel about the way you responded to others who don't believe as you do? Would you need to reconcile with anyone? Would your life still be filled with everything you value? Would your life still have meaning? What do you truly believe?

Believe

Do you know people who consistently think negatively? Of course it's windy because I just left the salon. Of course it's raining because I just washed my car. Of course there's a traffic jam because I'm in a hurry. Whenever something negative or inconvenient happens, they soothe themselves sayings like, "it's just my luck." They expect the worst and when it does, they use that as confirmation to continue believing in undesired outcomes.

The power of belief is undeniable. Children believe that a fairy leaves money in exchange for teeth, that a bunny delivers them candy-filled baskets, and that a man goes around the world in a single night in a sleigh powered by reindeer. Belief is so powerful because it shapes actions and perception. Children who believe in Santa Claus are often bribed to behave during the entire holiday season. Parents are quick to remind them of the upcoming holiday when children step out of line. Even a book and toy franchise (Elf on a Shelf) has capitalized on managing children's behavior. Churches, synagogues, temples, and mosques are filled because of belief. Whether people attend because they believe it will enhance their lives—or they believe in the power of guilt associated with not attending—belief shapes behavior. Whether it's in a higher power, science, people, self, or some combination, beliefs shape actions, energy, and essentially, perceptions of the world.

What do you believe? Where did those beliefs originate? Do you believe in and expect negativity? Do you believe that people can't be trusted? Do you believe that you can't trust yourself? Do you believe that if you allow yourself to have hope you will only be let down? Do you believe in fear rather than faith?

Consider how you interpret inconveniences and set backs as well as how you view fortune and advancement. Your beliefs impact so many aspects of your life so why not believe in what will enhance your life? Why not believe in what will benefit you instead of discourage you? Whether your beliefs were inherited or learned it's time to evaluate and be intentional about what you permit and encourage yourself to believe.

It's Not Political, It's Personal

Relocating from Indianapolis to Kalamazoo left me without a television for seven days. I didn’t find it catastrophic, but I did miss my daily morning news fix. Now that I’m more informed in the mornings I wonder if I wasn’t saved some heartache last week. After tuning back in I’ve found that the political spin taking place on social issues has made me question the soul of this country.

There are several public debates taking place about extremely private issues. Laws are being considered that will impact personal freedoms. These freedoms are being questioned based on religious beliefs and morality. I have purposefully refrained from publicly expressing my stance on these volatile issues, but I believe that we all have the right to mandate our behavior based on religious beliefs. Yet when government makes following a religious belief a matter of law it is no longer personal and belief no longer dictates behavior. The avoidance of breaking federal law dictates behavior, not the desire to be moral. More importantly, though, our choice to conduct ourselves under the direction of religious doctrine does not include forcing that same doctrine on others. Where is the choice and love in that?

It grieves me to think that those proposing such monumental changes will never be directly impacted by them. They will never be denied equal rights and benefits because of who they love. They will never have to testify in front of a room full of people about the worst moment of their lives. They will never have to live in the jarring reality of life after a rape resulting in pregnancy. How is it then that they have the right to make that decision for those who will? 

No matter what I elect to dictate my choices, I cannot justify mandating my behavior, lifestyle, and actions on anyone else, let alone the rest of the country. I am deeply saddened to see such emotional issues driving so many apart instead of binding us together. We’ve stepped back in time to incorporate different forms of ‘acceptable’ discrimination and tell an entire gender that they can’t, aren’t smart enough, or can’t be trusted enough to make their own decisions. I thought history taught us better and hoped we simply knew better.

Voting on these issues will impact an election, but they’ll impact the lives of our friends, neighbors, coworkers, siblings, daughters, sons, and grandchildren more. The outcome will mark a significant change in our country’s history, but will also determine the direction of our future. These debates will have political implications, but the personal ones are far greater. I am so grieved because I don’t have to quote some convincing statistic or read a catchy headline to place a face with a story. I already lived the story with people I love. I know those who do not have equal rights, who have been raped—and can adequately define it without the help of someone who hasn’t—and who have raised children resulting from rape. When I think of the choices that have or could have been stripped from them, in addition to the choices they’ve already lost, it hurts my heart. These potential policy changes aren’t political, they are personal. Extremely personal. For all of those I love and admire I am going to vote, but I may have to turn off the news until November if I am to hold on to the hope that we will grow into ‘the land of the free and the home of the brave’.

This isn’t intended to be a political post, just one that will encourage thoughtful reflection. One that will lead us to ask some fundamental questions about intention and truth. One that will help us to understand that hurting individuals hurts us collectively.