Connections

Airports facilitate travel and represent movement. The intent of going to the airport is to go elsewhere. Over the weekend, on my last trip to Michigan before moving to California, weather issues caused me to miss my connection. Unfortunately, the flight I missed was the last one to Kalamazoo and there were no hotel rooms or rental cars available. I was stuck in the airport for more than 9 hours. Obviously, this was not ideal, but I settled in for an all-nighter.

I pulled out my journal, planning to process thoughts related to my upcoming move, but it wasn't long before I realized that in all of my travels, this was only my second time being stranded overnight. The first time was when my dad passed away. Ironically, this second time, it was the eve of Father’s Day.

Having traveled to cities all over the United States and to more than 20 countries, it's a bit unusual that I have only been stranded overnight twice. Even more unusual is that those two times had connections to my father. My first time being stuck was when I found out that he died and this second time it was the eve of Father's Day, but the connections didn't end there. The airport where I was stranded for the second time was in Chicago, the very same airport I was heading to the first time, back in 2011. That led me to thinking about the first anniversary of his death. Though not stranded, I spent that day in an airport as well, in Detroit, in the very same airport that he dropped me off, the last time I saw him.

These connections are not mere coincidence. Four years following his death, as I negotiate the mixed emotions and busyness associated with relocating, I think these connections were my father’s way of saying, "I'm with you." Airports were an obvious choice to let me know that it doesn’t matter where I go, what phase of life I’m in, whether I’m settled or getting ready for a major life change, he’s with me. It’s so like him to use Father’s Day, a time designed to celebrate him and his impact in my life, to give me such a needed and timely gift. I spent Father's Day in an airport, a place designed for movement, being reminded that his presence will remain constant in my life.

Be mindful of life's connections. There may be events that appear coincidental or inconvenient, but if you give yourself space to look a little closer, you may find much more than coincidence and inconvenience. You may find a common thread and a needed message. You may find that life is trying to remind you of your impact, that you are important, that you are on the right track, that you are undeniably loved, and that you have purpose greater than you realize.

Highlight Experiences

Fourteen years ago I walked up a gangway and ventured out for a 100-day trip around the world. I viewed this unique study abroad program as a once-in-a-lifetime experience because I didn’t think that someone like me—from my neighborhood, with my history, with my financial situation, with no personal example to mirror where I was headed—could live “this way” for life. In fact, at the start of the journey I flirted with feeling like I didn’t deserve to be there and as a result, I didn’t allow myself to consider the possibility that I could achieve such greatness again.

Far too many of us don’t allow ourselves to dream in variations of greatness. That’s why we hear remember-when stories so often. Get a group of people together and suddenly, we are ear-deep in stories that begin with, “Remember that one time...” Trips down memory lane can be entertaining and fun, but they are detrimental if those trips are the only time we feel accomplished, satisfied, or fulfilled.

You may have had a phenomenal childhood and life hasn’t been as kind to you since. It’s possible that your childhood was challenging and your adult life has not been much better. No matter the circumstances please know that you are not limited to one highlight experience. You do not live for that "one time" during high school or college. Living with the belief that your best years have already passed constrains your behavior because it has already constrained your mind. Once you believe that you can’t have better you surrender the will to hope for and to do better.

I will always fondly think back on my study abroad experience. It generously provided me with a comparative look at nine cultures, gifted me with beautiful friendship, helped me discover some truths about myself, opened my mind to the possibility of greatness, and taught me the greatness that exists in the concept of possibility. Even still, when I stepped off of that ship at the end of that voyage, I never conceded that I had reached my quota for highlight experiences. With that greatness fresh in my mind, I carried the desire and hope to create and be open to many more highlight experiences for the rest of my life.

You can still have highlight experiences, but each one of them starts with your thoughts. Discover your self truths. Open your mind to the possibility of greatness. Welcome the greatness that exists in the concept of possibility. Hope is not to be feared.

The Road

I was driving through an unfamiliar city, dependent on my GPS to lead the way. When I made a right turn as instructed, I found myself on Road. No name, just Road. I was confident that even without an official name, I was going in the right direction because I trusted my GPS to guide me to my intended destination. However, not being able to name my location made me consider how we approach uncertainty. How do we handle moving forward without knowing exactly where we are?

There will be times when we have to make a decision—take a turn—that is for our ultimate good without having the entire roadmap in view. We may have to relocate, go back to school, end a relationship, embark on a new career path, start an exercise regiment, or develop a financial plan. Taking that first step is often the hardest. Even knowing that change will allow us to live fully, or at least to live better, fear of that road with no name can bring so much stress and anxiety that we refuse make that turn.

We all have an internal GPS. Most of us have convinced ourselves that it’s faulty because of a few bad choices. However, the GPS isn't faulty. We fluctuate between refusing to follow its directions, being too distracted to listen, or trying to use it in a manner that it wasn't intended. GPS was built to guide you, not to drive for you. It was designed to direct you as you travel, not after you've already arrived. Your internal GPS was created to take you forward, not in reverse.

No matter how anxiety-causing, unnerving, and scary progression can be, we need to exercise trust that we’ll arrive at our destination and not be detoured because of fear. Trust your internal GPS to give you direction and trust yourself enough to hear it correctly. The greatest benefit to driving down a road with no name is that you can name it. As you travel toward your best life, you can call the road whatever you need to in order to encourage yourself. Continue following the road, even if for a moment it curves, dips, and has no name.

Expect Greatness

Life can be drastically altered in seconds. Most often we think of drastic alterations as illness, an accident, or the death of a loved one. However, how long does it take for life to change in our favor? How long does it take for us to get that one phone call, message, or letter letting us know that what we hoped for is on the horizon? Life can be drastically altered in seconds, but not only in tragedy and pain. There are times when we are simply moments away from stepping closer to personal fulfillment. 

Expectation requires us to believe in an occurrence that hasn’t happened. It is associated with our ability to imagine. Unfortunately, most either expect negativity or nothing at all. The avoidance of disappointment has hindered many from believing in or expecting greatness. 

Maybe you allowed yourself to believe in a relationship that failed. Maybe you let your hopes run wild for a job that you didn’t get. Maybe you have had hardship after hardship so you refuse to hope for anything better. Disappointment can be painful, devastating, and even embarrassing. However, disappointment does not have to get the last word. Disappointment only wins when we are so fearful of feeling it again that we stop believing. When we refuse to believe that our lives will improve, we give up hope, and giving up hope is dangerous.

If expectation requires imagination why not expect something favorable instead of something to be feared? Life can change in a moment. I challenge you to expect positive change. I challenge you to consider that you are on the brink of the life you seek. I challenge you to use your imagination in your favor by expecting greatness.

Unexpected Support

As I’m sure you can relate, during my most challenging times my relationships were redefined. In any situation when the truth doesn’t line up with expectation or desire, it is harsh. As some of the major players in my life were unable to provide the level of support that I felt situations warranted, I had to accept some truths that I didn’t anticipate nor want to accept.

We often deal on opposite ends of the same spectrum. Our most influential lessons usually stem from hardship. Our greatest joys are magnified by the mere thought of past pains. Gratitude is amplified when we consider previous lack. When we feel uncomfortable we only need to look at our past to know that we are more than likely on the brink of major change. Without discontent we would never strive for better because undesirable feelings are what prompt us toward introspection and evaluation. Essentially, we don’t change our lives without first changing our minds.

Accepting truths regarding some of my relationships was initially distressing. However, my need to shift out of discomfort prompted me to evaluate. Based on history, I knew that I would receive all of the support I needed. I received all the support I needed because there were always unexpected sources of support. Instead of focusing on the disappointment, I focused on the gift of unexpected sources of support. I could not allow the absence of someone to dilute the presence of anyone. It is difficult to discover who cannot be what you wished, but it is even more wonderful to discover who becomes more than you hoped.