Highlight Experiences

Fourteen years ago I walked up a gangway and ventured out for a 100-day trip around the world. I viewed this unique study abroad program as a once-in-a-lifetime experience because I didn’t think that someone like me—from my neighborhood, with my history, with my financial situation, with no personal example to mirror where I was headed—could live “this way” for life. In fact, at the start of the journey I flirted with feeling like I didn’t deserve to be there and as a result, I didn’t allow myself to consider the possibility that I could achieve such greatness again.

Far too many of us don’t allow ourselves to dream in variations of greatness. That’s why we hear remember-when stories so often. Get a group of people together and suddenly, we are ear-deep in stories that begin with, “Remember that one time...” Trips down memory lane can be entertaining and fun, but they are detrimental if those trips are the only time we feel accomplished, satisfied, or fulfilled.

You may have had a phenomenal childhood and life hasn’t been as kind to you since. It’s possible that your childhood was challenging and your adult life has not been much better. No matter the circumstances please know that you are not limited to one highlight experience. You do not live for that "one time" during high school or college. Living with the belief that your best years have already passed constrains your behavior because it has already constrained your mind. Once you believe that you can’t have better you surrender the will to hope for and to do better.

I will always fondly think back on my study abroad experience. It generously provided me with a comparative look at nine cultures, gifted me with beautiful friendship, helped me discover some truths about myself, opened my mind to the possibility of greatness, and taught me the greatness that exists in the concept of possibility. Even still, when I stepped off of that ship at the end of that voyage, I never conceded that I had reached my quota for highlight experiences. With that greatness fresh in my mind, I carried the desire and hope to create and be open to many more highlight experiences for the rest of my life.

You can still have highlight experiences, but each one of them starts with your thoughts. Discover your self truths. Open your mind to the possibility of greatness. Welcome the greatness that exists in the concept of possibility. Hope is not to be feared.

Discover Who You Are

Flic en Flac, Mauritius

I went through a phase of reading inspirational books with a spiritual slant. One of the terms that resonated with me most was transparency. Everyone described as transparent had openly and unapologetically shared her story, in all its glory and heartbreak. Reading these uplifting anecdotes and seeing the impact the authors made in the lives of others created a desire in me to do the same. I challenged myself to be transparent. However, I gave myself a charge I didn't fully understand. My focus was external and transparency is an internal journey.

On my misguided road to transparency I repeatedly told my story and could see the impact that a shared or similar background created. Sadly, it was rehearsed and I was on emotional autopilot. I told the story repeatedly with no emotional connection. I recited details, but lacked feeling. I told myself it was just getting easier to tell with the passage of time, but the truth was that I wasn't pursuing transparency, I was running from it. I convinced myself that reading the script of my life was synonymous with being open. Delivering the story was easier than engaging with my story. Stating the facts didn't demand attention. I detached so instead of being transparent—what I claimed I wanted—I was becoming emotionally impenetrable. It is impossible to make a real connection with anyone while failing to connect with self.

Eventually, I was no longer satisfied simply telling my story because I wanted to share my story. I grew tired of existing under the illusion of openness. I wanted to be open. I wanted to be transparent, honestly this time, so I had to start with me. I had to connect with my own story first.

An object is considered to be transparent when light can reflect or pass through it. Think of water, glass, air, and windows. You can see through them and when there's light, the light passes through. The same is true with us. When we make a commitment to self-discovery and are willing to connect to and engage with our truth then others can see us clearly and more importantly, we can clearly see ourselves and let our own light shine through.