Decision Cycles

We are in a continuous cycle of decision-making. We contemplate decisions, act on decisions, and live with the consequences of decisions. As we go through these cycles, our emotions go through changes as well. It is rare that we feel anything—trust, fear, joy, sadness, excitement, or dread—the entire time that we work through our decisions.

Last month I packed up my life and relocated to California. The contemplation phase of making this choice was easy, fun, exciting, and brought me joy. Everything about making my decision was thrilling. I was going to a beautiful location featuring the ocean on one side and mountains on the other. I was starting a challenging and amazing position that seemed tailor-made for my professional experience and personal interests. I was moving to a walkable neighborhood that made my desire to park my car on weekends realistic. I was joining a laid-back yet social community that fit my personality. This move was perfect! However, acting on the move was far from perfect.

The action phase of my decision—my perfect decision during the contemplation phase—was stressful and emotional. The first moving company I hired was a no-show, five days before I was scheduled to leave. The driver that was supposed to ship my vehicle took it on a joyride. My perfect, no-brainer decision came with unexpected, major difficulty. I wondered if I missed the mark. How could something that started so perfectly become so problematic? Did I want this change so badly that I imagined more assurance and confirmation than actually existed? Had I made a mistake?

As you go through decision cycles, it's vital that you remain connected to your state of mind when you made your decision. Even the most beautiful, peaceful, and necessary decisions can come with pain, disruption, and challenges. The discomfort you may feel during the action phase of your decision should not shake your confidence and dilute your joy. Press forward. Remain stable. Hold on until you get to the satisfying state of living out the consequences of your decisions. I know I'm glad I'm living out the consequences of mine.

Transitions

For weeks I have wanted to share my perspective on transitions. I’d been through enough of them to know how to articulate the process. I was very familiar with the uncertainty, frustration, waiting, more frustration, and finally, clarity. I could talk about the struggle of wanting to peek into the future to know just a little bit more before having to make a decision, but still having to make the decision. Yet, there was a transition I needed to complete before I could write this post.

After spending four months traveling around the world, I fluctuated between desperately wanting to start a new life and enjoying freedom of not having to rush into a routine. What I longed for most was a definitive answer. I found myself unclear, uncertain, and approaching a fearful place. I honestly didn’t know what would be my best course of action. Was I supposed to become more focused on creating the next phase of my life or was I to learn to appreciate the free space?

I can honestly say that even in my moments of doubt, I knew in my soul that I simply needed to trust. Trusting is obviously easier said than implemented, but I found comfort in knowing that all I needed to do was trust. That realization gave me reason to believe that everything would work out in my favor, for my benefit. Trusting through the transition gave me hope even if it didn’t always make me feel hopeful.

In the months that followed, I watched others make progress, get closer to their next phase, and get the answers I wanted. The more time that passed, the harder I had to work to keep my feelings stable and trust that I would eventually receive all that I needed. It took eight months, but all of the concrete answers I sought were delivered. Suddenly, all of the waiting, uncertainty, and frustration dissolved. I am clear, thankful, and hopeful. As I walk into the next phase of my life, everything makes sense. Every single thing!
 

Transitions are difficult, especially while we’re in the middle of them. What would happen, though, if we conditioned ourselves to appreciate the freedom that exists in uncertain spaces instead of fearing it? How would uncertainty feel if we treated it as a favorable circumstance instead of a threatening one? When we reach the end of a transition we often have an ‘aha’ moment, a time when it all makes sense. All of the wavering. All of the seemingly haphazard events. All of the rejection that pushed us to become more and better. We come out of a haze and into clarity. If our past has shown us that we’ll end up in a more favorable place at the end of a transition than we were in the beginning, we need to learn a better, more healthy way to get through the in-between stage of transitioning.