Emotional Toxins

Toxins are harmful. Ingesting them can require medical attention at best. At worst, they can lead to long-term illness or death. Knowing the dangers associated with toxins deters us from ingesting them, but we aren't as careful with the emotional toxins that we allow to seep into our lives.

There was a time when I willingly fluctuated between living peacefully and tiptoeing in turmoil. My assumption was that the peace would minimize the pain, but it was the pain that infiltrated the peace. It wasn't enough to only give up my peace in increments—only on holidays or special occasions. If I genuinely wanted to live in peace, I had to stop self-administering the emotional toxins completely. Living in peace required me to close the door on sources of anxiety and unease. It was not safe at any level or interval nor worth the risk to dabble in toxicity. In order to obtain peace of mind, I had to sever all ties with emotional toxins.

Nudging up to emotional toxins is gambling with your peace of your mind. Eventually, toxicity will demand a hefty payment of clarity, health, stability, positive relationships, balance, and ultimately, self-love. Consider the sources of anxiety and unease in your life. How much of it is a result of normal adult responsibility and life events vs. ill-advised decisions, habitual behavior, guilt, and fear of the unknown? Peace of mind is priceless, but it isn't free. Are you willing to give up the emotional toxins in your life in order to pursue it?

Live Your Truth

This week I found myself living out the consequences of decisions I made many years ago. Instead of being authentic, I was amicable. Too fearful to create waves, I simply sailed wherever the wind blew. I essentially handed the responsibility of my well-being to others by assessing their comfort as more important than my emotional health. I entertained toxic, traumatic relationships simply because we shared a bloodline. My previous attempts to break ties were discouraged and unsuccessful. I’m certain that my refusal to continue down this senseless path will be problematic also, but the alternative has become impossible.

As I’ve grown older, I’ve been increasingly attracted to peace. However, without realizing it, I had been settling for partial peace. Not only was that absurd, but this particular area of my life was the one that demanded peace the most intensely. I will never walk in genuine peace unless I am willing to do all that it takes to be at peace. Even if it upsets those I’ve appeased for many years. Even if that means being misunderstood. Even if that creates separation. The pursuit of peace—my well-being—is worth more than the discomfort associated with upsetting others, being misunderstood, and potential separation.

Not everyone will understand all of your decisions. You are uniquely motivated by your experiences and purpose. Nothing is worth living a half-hearted, fabricated life. Not the reactions of others. Not fear. Not uncertainty. Not hard work. Nothing and no thing. Make the steps necessary to live freely and fully. Living your truth is not always easy, but living outside of it is intolerable.