Tuesday, September 24, 2013


I recently made a tough decision. One that I knew would be questioned, misunderstood, and cause conflict. It was one of those choices where I drew a line in the sand and accepted that life as I knew it would no longer exist. Despite the threat of causing turmoil, I was not only certain, I was strengthened. After years of emotional work and confirming my sources of support I had to trust in the outcome of my process—clarity.
We all have at least one life challenge that has shoved us to both edges of our sanity spectrum. It is that issue that the mere thought of can cause us to doubt our sense of worth or encourage us into believing in our own power. It can reek havoc on all of our relationships or draw us in closer to those who love us. It can demonstrate all that is wrong with the randomness of life yet illustrate grace in its purest form. If we commit to connecting to our power, drawing closer to our loved ones, and choosing grace over grievances then we can trust in the outcome of our process and walk in the clarity we inherently seek and need.
When presented with this latest situation I had to look beyond that decision. On the surface, I was making a complex choice, but as I weighed my options I discovered that ultimately, what I needed to choose was clarity. Once I looked through the lens of clarity, my choice became undeniably clear. There were no other options. I wanted clarity more than I wanted to people-please. I wanted clarity more than I wanted to do the "right" thing. I wanted clarity more than I wanted to be justified, understood, or validated.
Life constantly presents you with tests in the form of choices. Your choices reflect the outcome of your process. Can you trust in the outcome of your process?

Read last week's post, Power of a Selfie.

Tuesday, September 10, 2013

Power of a Selfie

Technology has altered how we connect, even down to our language. Just a few years ago the word selfie would have conjured up confusion, but now it's a fairly common term. There are countless pictures on social media sites of self-portrait photos and they have an added entertainment value because many of them unintentionally capture something humorous in the background. When the subject of a picture is also the one performing the action of taking the picture, the focus is not on the background. In a selfie, the full setting appears in the end product—the image—even if that isn't the intent. When we focus our attention on ourselves, the impact extends far beyond what we intend and what we can see.

Over the last few years I made a commitment to live honestly. I knew that this commitment would be challenging. When I decided to take a serious look in the mirror my focus was self-improvement so every aspect of my life came into view. It wasn't enough for me to live honestly when it was comfortable and convenient to live honestly. I had to look at the whole setting—the totality of my life. Once I made the appropriate and necessary changes to the areas requiring my immediate attention, my focus extended and I was faced with increasingly difficult choices and many of them involved my relationships.

When I committed to authenticity, my truth impacted those around me. I knew some relationships would be strengthened and others would falter. Instead of placing my attention on the relationships that would not grow as I did, I made a conscious decision to reinforce relationships with those who would support me throughout. After I shifted my focus I felt strong enough to stand with those who would unconditionally stand with me. My decision to live my truth meant recognizing the truth about those around me.

When we improve, we require those around us to make a choice—accept and encourage our growth or long for what was. The mirror we place in front of ourselves also reflects those closest to us. As we pay close attention to what is shown in our reflection, we also see the people around us with improved clarity. Some will live in the truth with us and others will step out of the frame.

Read last week's post, Extend Grace.