Developing Goals

As my time as an undergraduate student started winding down, I found myself asking what I wanted to do with the rest of my life. More than a decade has passed and I’m still asking myself the same question. Yet instead of being frustrated or fearful, I find myself excited. I am asking the same question more than ten years later because I have grown.

In my early twenties, I planned to start graduate business school. I had intentions of becoming a high-powered marketing researcher. I envisioned myself wearing suits and heels, carrying a briefcase, driving a convertible sports car, and making more money than I knew what to do with. While my visions for my life were ambitious, they were focused on external satisfaction and were quite frankly, selfish. Those plans didn’t fit who I was becoming. I had to change because what I wanted changed. It started to become less important that I appeared successful and more important that I inspired others. It was less important for me to succeed individually and more important for my life to impact the lives of others. As I grew up, my goals grew up.

You are designed for development and progress. That is why your goals alter and expand. Don't beat yourself up or feel that you lack direction because you are no longer fulfilled or driven by the same things. As you grow older, you evolve. Changing goals do not indicate failure, mistaken judgement, or defeat. When your goals change to align with who you are becoming, it is evidence of maturation.

What you desire for your life at twenty should not be the same desires for your life at thirty. What you envision at thirty should grow into more by the time you are forty. As you take on more personal roles (become a spouse, an aunt/uncle, a parent, etc.) and achieve professional successes, you will find yourself desiring more from life than you once sought. Don’t be afraid when your desires lead you down a different path and cause you to want more from life. Don’t misinterpret what those changes indicate. Welcome the growth and boldly take the steps needed to achieve your new goals.

Get Real

Before we can experience true success we have to be honest with ourselves. That may seem like a no-brainer, but many of us waste energy and time chasing a job or an idea instead of chasing our dream. Chasing our dream is hard enough already with fear and doubt trying to clog our minds. We should not complicate matters by being untruthful with ourselves.

Just two years ago I was excited to start graduate school. I’d spoken to someone from admissions, researched the requirements, and started the application process. This may not surprise those of you who know that I graduated recently, but what you may find surprising is that I was preparing to start a master’s program in business, not in English. My undergraduate degree was in business so it seemed logical to pursue an advanced degree in business. The problem with this rationale is that I was making a decision based on a choice I’d made at eighteen-years-old. I failed to consider all that had happened in my life since I received my first degree. I didn’t think about how much I had changed since then. I was ignoring the sense of purpose I’d found in creative writing. I allowed the pursuit of a job to lead my actions instead of allowing the pursuit of self-fulfillment to direct my path.

I would like to encourage you to be your own advocate. Be honest with yourself when it comes to making major life decisions. Ask yourself a few key questions and don’t be afraid to be truthful. Is the direction you’re headed pointing you closer to your ultimate goal? Are you pursuing your purpose? Are you doing all you can to ensure your success or are you simply hoping for the best? Is your behavior indicative of your desire? 

I called a close friend and told her that I was preparing to start my MBA. Instead of being excited for me she asked, “Myla, in ten years, will you still be satisfied knowing that you have an MBA?” Without hesitation I said, “No.” She then asked, “Then why are you getting an MBA?” I was getting an MBA because I thought it was what I should do in order to get a job. She and I had been friends entirely too long for me to give her that weak answer, but that weak answer satisfied me because I wasn’t being honest with myself. I got so caught up in the activity of applying to graduate school that I didn’t bother asking if I was making the right choice. I am relieved and so happy that all of my MBA talk halted that day. Ask the questions. Get real in your answers. You’ll be so glad you did.

Holding Pattern

I took my first graduate school course in July 2009. When I started, I was very enthusiastic about my future. I was writing creatively and looking forward to obtaining a master’s degree. As school began to take precedence in my life, the things I loved—traveling, spending time with family and friends, and writing creatively—took a back seat. As a result, my life became unfamiliar to me. As I went through the process of obtaining my degree, I felt as if I was in a holding pattern and suddenly, that fire I had about my future started to fade. It went from a blazing, excited, rambunctious inferno, to a neatly contained simmer. I began to wonder what happened to me. I am now one class and a thesis approval away from completing my degree and that slow simmer has been turned up significantly.

What happened to me along the way is my big picture goal got lost in the shuffle of all of those papers I had to write and all the books I had to read. If you find yourself pursuing a necessary and desired long-term goal, there will be times when all you can see are small and seemingly insignificant pieces of the puzzle. Keep pushing. There will be days when you wonder if you are making any progress. Persevere. There might even be moments when you question whether that long-term goal—like graduate school—is taking you on a detour from your larger purpose.  Fight through that uncertainty. 

As I look back over the last two years I realize a few things. One, two years is not that long. I’m nearly finished with my program and now I wonder where the time went. Two, what I learned about reading has helped me not only become a more critical reader, but a much more aware writer as well. Three, what I discovered about myself during those two years will be vital to my professional and personal future. I might not have felt that fire burning as significantly while I was going through the process, but now that I’m coming out on the other side, it is so back on! Push, pull, force yourself through that holding pattern. Do whatever you have to do to rekindle that fire you have for your life. It’s a great feeling and it is so worth it.