Uncertainty

Uncertainty can be frightening and at times, debilitating. Wanting direction and not having a clear answer is frustrating. It can make us question every previous decision, whether connected to current circumstances or not. It can lead us to believe that we can't trust our judgment. Yet it is during times of uncertainty that we need to exercise trust the most. Uncertainty ushers in the change that we need, but have been too comfortable, too complacent or too afraid to do on our own.

While unnerving, the uncertain times in our lives often lead us to greater. Eventually, we become open because we reach the end of needing to control and we surrender. It is in surrendering that we acknowledge that despite all of our plotting and planning, we do not have it all figured out so we might as well... Might as well what? Go for it. Try something different. Throw our hat in the ring. Take a risk. Fully live.

When we surrender we stop trying to protect and prevent ourselves from being greater. We transition from making excuses about why we cannot go, do, or become and we start to comprehend the magnitude of possibility. Imagine what our lives would be like if we reached this place of openness and surrender earlier instead of waiting until we are completely frustrated and at the end our understanding.

Some of your best decisions were made after you surrendered. Some of your greatest payoffs occurred when you were so unsure of your future that you threw caution to the wind and acted out of excitement instead of fear. Instead of viewing uncertainty as terrifying, learn to accept it as an opportunity to live life with your arms wide open and in a constant state of willingness and courage—willingness to try the improbable and courage to simply say yes. Instead of allowing the fear of uncertainty to grip you, attach yourself to the adventure and enjoy the ride!

Big Enough

Amusement parks are filled with energy. Kids and kids-at-heart are excited as they play games, eat confections, and of course, ride roller coasters. Amusement parks also breed anxiety, disappointment, and tears. Many of the kids are at the awkward stage of not being tall enough for certain rides. Adults know that the child who is just inches too short will get to experience terrified bliss soon enough, but all that child cares about is that moment. Safety reasons or not, all that child wants is to be big enough right now! As we get older, we grow taller, but we have the same mentality. Even when it's for our own good, we never want to hear that we aren't big enough—mentally or emotionally—for anything.

As a teenager, I was well aware that I was expected to go to college, earn a living, get married, and have children. I also knew that there were levels to achieving each goal. Aspects of that plan would reveal themselves in their proper time. Much like at an amusement park, I needed to grow before I could experience certain facets of life. I needed to create a pattern of wise decisions so that I could learn to trust myself. I needed to discover the difference between those committed to walk with me and those who would simply walk. I needed to understand what kind of person I wanted to grow into and focus my energy working in that direction. Having awareness of expectations or desired outcomes is not the same as being ready for those expectations or outcomes. Awareness is not an indication of a timetable—it is intended to give guidance and focus. 

You may feel that you've been standing in line, waiting to be measured or prepared to prove that you are big enough for the ride. Perhaps you feel ready to start that business or handle the responsibilities of a promotion. Maybe you wonder why you're not someone's spouse by now or not living in that dream home or in the life you envisioned years ago. You might have developed frustration and impatience as you look at others enjoying the park and riding everything that you've been waiting to experience. Don't get lost in comparisons and watching others. Your life will unfold in a time that is most appropriate and best for you. Tomorrow's outcome will be a reflection of choices and decisions you've made today so create a pattern of wise decisions to help you learn to trust yourself, discover who walks with you, and understand who you are growing into so your actions reflect your direction. When the time comes for you to stand up and be measured, you'll be confident that you are indeed big enough for the ride designed specifically for you.

Transitions

For weeks I have wanted to share my perspective on transitions. I’d been through enough of them to know how to articulate the process. I was very familiar with the uncertainty, frustration, waiting, more frustration, and finally, clarity. I could talk about the struggle of wanting to peek into the future to know just a little bit more before having to make a decision, but still having to make the decision. Yet, there was a transition I needed to complete before I could write this post.

After spending four months traveling around the world, I fluctuated between desperately wanting to start a new life and enjoying freedom of not having to rush into a routine. What I longed for most was a definitive answer. I found myself unclear, uncertain, and approaching a fearful place. I honestly didn’t know what would be my best course of action. Was I supposed to become more focused on creating the next phase of my life or was I to learn to appreciate the free space?

I can honestly say that even in my moments of doubt, I knew in my soul that I simply needed to trust. Trusting is obviously easier said than implemented, but I found comfort in knowing that all I needed to do was trust. That realization gave me reason to believe that everything would work out in my favor, for my benefit. Trusting through the transition gave me hope even if it didn’t always make me feel hopeful.

In the months that followed, I watched others make progress, get closer to their next phase, and get the answers I wanted. The more time that passed, the harder I had to work to keep my feelings stable and trust that I would eventually receive all that I needed. It took eight months, but all of the concrete answers I sought were delivered. Suddenly, all of the waiting, uncertainty, and frustration dissolved. I am clear, thankful, and hopeful. As I walk into the next phase of my life, everything makes sense. Every single thing!
 

Transitions are difficult, especially while we’re in the middle of them. What would happen, though, if we conditioned ourselves to appreciate the freedom that exists in uncertain spaces instead of fearing it? How would uncertainty feel if we treated it as a favorable circumstance instead of a threatening one? When we reach the end of a transition we often have an ‘aha’ moment, a time when it all makes sense. All of the wavering. All of the seemingly haphazard events. All of the rejection that pushed us to become more and better. We come out of a haze and into clarity. If our past has shown us that we’ll end up in a more favorable place at the end of a transition than we were in the beginning, we need to learn a better, more healthy way to get through the in-between stage of transitioning.

Internal Change

The last two years have left me searching for more than what my day-to-day life presented. I wasn’t unhappy, but I felt that there had to be more. The nomad within was screaming for me to pack up and relocate. However, before I could commit to making a major life change I had to discover what my soul was searching for and consider whether or not moving could provide it.

What we need isn’t always obvious. We have to do a little digging and probing. We have to ask ourselves what it is that we are truly after. For example, if I wanted to leave Indiana because I was tired of winter, it would not make sense for me to move to Illinois. It sounds ridiculous, but many of us have made similar decisions. Have you ever made a lifestyle change, but after time passes you find yourself faced with the same type of people or the same circumstance? You end a destructive relationship only to step right into another destructive relationship with someone new. You relocate to get away from negative influences, but find yourself surrounded by people who are just like the ones you left. You have changed your external world, but you haven’t changed.

Changing the scenery will be ineffective if the scenery isn’t the real issue. At certain points in my life relocating was an easier option than doing the work, being honest, and finding out what was causing the discomfort or desire to flee. When we change the external, the internal doesn’t automatically change with it. Internal changes require more. Internal changes are harder. Internal changes force us to face truth. Internal changes are uncomfortable and scary.

After spending some time listening inwardly, I understood why I was frustrated. The level of excitement about my future started to fade. Instead of discovering what I could do to get excited about my life again I entertained an easier route. I thought, 'Surely I can get excited again if I live in a new city.' However, the change I craved was an internal change. The frustration I felt was not related to where I lived but how I lived. Now that I am aware of what I need, I am focused and better equipped to pursue it. 

When you are faced with a repeating source of frustration try not to rely on your usual list of things-to-do. If you have recurring discontentment consider some serious self-reflection. Get to the root of the frustration. It may be difficult and uncomfortable, but increasing your quality of life is absolutely worth it.

Internal Directives

Working for a study abroad program affords me with many opportunities to get to know people from various backgrounds with a wide range of aspirations and perspectives. In the last two weeks I have had conversations with more people than I can count. Yet one theme seems to surface repeatedly during the majority of those conversations and that is timing and purpose.

You may be doing a job that you are grateful to have, but lacks inspiration. You may think your daily life is mundane or that what you do from day-to-day is insignificant. You may have much greater aspirations than what your life currently displays. You still must consider that there are times when you will be placed in a holding pattern for preparation and to ensure that when your life flourishes it is at the right time.

In the last two years there were several moments when I craved a life change. I felt restless and the desire for me to flee was growing by the day. Yet even stronger than my desire for change I felt that I was being directed to wait. I knew that something was developing and if I acted out of impatience I could negatively alter the course of my life. Was it easy to simply wait? No! Were there days when I wondered if that internal directive to wait was incorrect? Absolutely. How did I know that waiting was the answer? I knew because when I took the time to listen inwardly what I heard did not mimic or shadow my fickle and flighty emotions. No matter how I felt I heard the same directive–wait.

If you are growing increasingly frustrated take some time to listen–really listen. You’ll know that you’ve tapped into more than your sometimes untrustworthy emotions if what you’re being directed to do isn’t completely wrapped up in how you feel. On the days I wanted to interject a change that I knew wasn’t in my best interest I was taunted by impatience. Yet as frustrated as I was, it does not compare to the gratitude I feel being where I am at this time, for this purpose. Find out what life is directing for you and then have the courage and determination to follow through.