Vision

I've heard different versions of questions related to regret which has led me to ask myself what I would do differently if given the chance. There's not much I would change, but there is one decision I've questioned multiple times. As a teenager, I did not apply to the university I dreamed of attending because I didn't want to burden my family with the cost of out-of-state tuition. Though not often, I have had moments when I wondered how my life would have turned out if I'd at least applied to the university that I'd never visited, but envisioned myself being a part of all those years ago.

In July, I joined one of the most well-known university systems. Working for a systemwide office, I've had the opportunity to visit nine University of California campuses. I attended a meeting with a marketing director at one particular campus and she handed me a box. She said, "I wanted to give you a small gift to welcome you." I smiled. Twenty years later, I was being welcomed to very university I wanted to attend as an undergraduate student. I told my colleague the significance of her words and her gift and she responded, "Well, now you are officially part of the UC family."

My desire to be a part of that university was limited. I reduced the possibility of joining that university to a student experience and because I didn't attend as a student, I thought I'd missed my chance. Life still managed to lead me to the very same place. I hadn't missed my opportunity. My opportunity was simply different from what I imagined.

Maybe you have a vision that hasn't played out. That's not adequate reason to believe that your vision is faulty. It could just be that the vision hasn't played out yet. Vision is not limited to your timetable. Vision is not limited to your current circumstances. Vision isn't even limited to your concept of possibility. If you've had a longstanding vision for your life, don't let it go. Don't let the passage of time, detours, negative feedback, successes of others, or your own self-doubt cause you to forget or neglect your vision. One day, what you envisioned could unfold right before your eyes in a way you didn't even imagine.

Brave Enough to Believe

There is something very special about watching reruns of old television shows. I still laugh aloud when I see The Cosby Show, Livin' Single, and The Golden Girls. When those shows were popular there were things I didn't fully appreciate nor understand due to a lack of life experience, especially when it came to The Golden Girls. Besides them representing a time of collective purpose and consideration, with no hint of the ridiculousness that today's 'reality' tv offers, there's another reason I love these shows. Watching them reminds me of the power that is released when we believe.

I always smile whenever someone appears on reruns who has gone on to find success as a professional actor. As I watch The Cosby Show now I recognize people like Angela Bassett, Mario Van Peebles, Robin Givens, Stacey Dash, Adam Sandler, and countless others I didn't know by name back then. I imagine how excited they must have been to audition, receive a call back, walk on the set, tape the episode, and see it on television for the first time. I fast-forward to now, knowing how their lives evolved. Their bravery to believe in and chase their unconventional dream released the power for them to pursue more.

The life you envision does not have to be impossible. It may be a long shot. It probably requires commitment again, and again, and again. More than likely, you will have to make sacrifices and repeatedly surrender to your purpose. Difficult? Yes. Time consuming? Yes. Frustrating? Absolutely. Here's the reality, though. Living already comes with requirements. Even if you refuse or are too afraid to tap into the power of belief, in order to live you already have to commit and sacrifice. To maintain a job and earn a living you have to show up and sacrifice your time for a paycheck. In order to keep healthy relationships or raise a family you have to be there, present, and sacrifice 'my' for 'our.' If you must commit and sacrifice for what is necessary and who you love, you might as well commit and sacrifice for you.

You could be in the cameo stage of your life. You may be several steps or one big leap from whatever is considered your big break. You could be one connection, one performance, one job, one written piece, one kind word, one volunteer opportunity, one appearance from crossing into the threshold of fulfillment. Wouldn't you rather look back on the cameo phase of your life as where your beliefs were strengthened instead of where they deteriorated? Don't lose sight or give up. Follow the example of those young, eager actors you saw on television all those years ago. Be brave enough to believe and release the power that exists to pursue more.

Evolution of Dreams

While having a conversation about what I wanted to be when I was a kid, I remembered lining up my stuffed animals (and sometimes my less than amused brother) to impart my seven-year-old wisdom. My childhood fascination with teaching was solely based on the perceptions and limited knowledge of a second grader. I’m pretty sure I wanted to be a teacher just so I could write on a chalkboard and tell people what to do.

Our desires are influenced by experience. As we mature and interpret life through a more collective lens, our direction changes. We react and adjust based on history and cognition. When I learned that becoming a teacher required more than writing on a chalkboard and having a captive audience, I no longer wanted to become a teacher. When I was exposed to more career choices and compared them with my natural abilities and interests, I changed my mind. When I was exposed to international travel and developed a love of creative writing, my desires became more complex. All of this—learning, exposure, comparisons, development, and understanding self—combined to create a new dream.

As we grow our dreams grow. However, doubt and discouragement tag along because we assume a change in direction constitutes a mistake or an err in judgment. Change does not equate to an error. We are not designed to be forever satisfied by the same things. When we grow so does our vision and our ability to accept that we have the right to dream.

In addition to thinking that change comes as a result of a mistake we need to correct, we also have to contend with a lack of deservedness. Somehow we have relinquished our ability to accept that we deserve happiness and fullness. The mere thought of taking our lives from good to great—or even from repetitious and bland to exciting and colorful—turns us into self-defeating, overly critical, negative persuaders. We think we're not young enough, not smart enough, not worthy enough, and ultimately, not deserving enough to exist in a world better than our today. Please know that is absolutely not true. You are enough. You are smart enough. You are worth it. You do deserve it. You deserve to grow, achieve more, and step into greater.

It may be late, but it’s not too late. It may be difficult, but it’s not impossible. It may require a financial or time commitment, but the way you currently live already requires a commitment. Why not commit to exceptional instead of settling for acceptable? Change is good, but it must begin with you changing your mind. You’ve grown, matured, and experienced life; let your dreams do the same.

Embrace Impossibility

Two years ago I sat with a professor as he shared an incredible opportunity. As I listened, I considered enrolling in a PhD program so I could do the same. He told our dinner party that he was taking a semester away from his home campus to teach while traveling around the world. I told him several times, “I would love to do that.” I said it when he mentioned it. I said it when he shared the list of countries he would be visiting. I said it again at the end of the night.

As much as I was fascinated by his upcoming adventure, I knew I wasn’t in a position remotely close to his. I wasn’t a professor and had no desire to become one. My job wouldn’t allow me to travel the world, no matter how convincing I could be in drafting a proposal. However, as I write this blog, I can say that I learned a valuable lesson about embracing impossibility.

Some of you know that I am currently on a ship preparing to spend the next 100+ days sailing around the world, and yes, it is for a job. I didn’t have to start a PhD program. I didn’t have to switch careers. I was presented with the job of my dreams right where I was.

What we think is impossible or out of our range often isn’t. The key is having some faith and ensuring that all of our actions are true to our heart’s desires. It’s not enough to simply wish, we also have to work. It’s not enough to talk about your future, you also have to act toward that future. Your dreams were put in your spirit for the purpose of realization, not to taunt you. You have dreams so you can chase them, not be frustrated by them. What are you doing in your day-to-day activities to ensure that your dreams will be realized? What have you done in the last six months to get you closer to your goals? Embrace impossibility instead of running from it. Life is full of opportunities, but the great, seemingly impossible ones are for those who are brave, hard-working, and determined enough to embrace them.

You may be thinking that I am doing something very similar to what I’d heard. Admittedly, that would be a pretty good story. However, it gets better. Just two days ago, on Sunday afternoon, I sat in a room for the faculty and staff orientation. A huge smile spread across my face when the very professor I’d had dinner with nearly two years ago stood up and introduced himself. I’m not doing something similar. I am on the exact trip that I was so intrigued by nearly two years ago! Embrace what you consider to be impossible. Even if you can’t see how or when, what you deem to be impossible could very well be in your future.