Unlearn

One of the most gratifying moments in the life of a parent—or proud aunt—is hearing a child read for the first time. Learning to read will remain with that child for life and open a world previously inaccessible. There are other lessons we learn that impact the way we view the world and ourselves. Like reading, these lessons can shape the way we experience life. While they can be as influential as learning to read, not all lessons are positive or true. For that reason, some of the most important lessons are the ones we unlearn.

I spent a significant part of my adolescence in church. There were morning services, afternoon services, Bible studies, rehearsals, special events, and social gatherings. I credit my church upbringing with giving me a sense of community, teaching me to trust and have faith, and introducing me to values. However, according to those same teachings, what I heard every Sunday was the only truth, judgment was justified when it was collective, and pursuing an afterlife was more important than living this one. As I traveled the world and heard the teachings of global spiritual leaders, my mind shifted. I realized that I wanted a life more than a lifestyle. It led me on a journey that expanded my idea of community and taught me that my values weren’t attached to words on a page. I recognized that the teachings I heard did not hold the only truths in this world. I rejected the notion that I could judge others, or stand by and condone judgment by my presence. I grew the moment I unlearned what was detrimental to me becoming authentic, free, and whole.

You may have been taught that diversity should be feared or regarded as less. Unlearn it. You may have learned that asking questions is a sign of distrust or disrespect. Unlearn it. Maybe you were told that you weren’t enough. Unlearn it. Perhaps you were taught that no one with your last name, skin tone, or from your neighborhood could do what you dream. Unlearn it. It’s possible that experiences taught you that you weren’t powerful, had no worth, or that you deserved every negative encounter that entered your life. Unlearn it. You are indeed powerful. You do have worth. You deserve peace, joy, and love. Whatever you’ve been taught that has been weighing you down, holding you back, and stifling your life, set it free.

It's Your Choice

As children, our lives were largely shaped by the decisions of our parents and guardians. We couldn't dictate where we lived, who we were around, what types of foods we ate or the clothing we wore. As adults, we gained the gift of choice. Sadly, too many of us are locked in the same mentality that we held as children and willingly relinquish our ability to choose.

My childhood wasn't without challenges. I was around less than desirable people and put in some hazardous situations. As a result, in my adulthood, peace has become extremely important to me. I intentionally maintain a peaceful life. It has become so obvious that it's almost comical how quickly I will exit a situation or relationship when I feel uncomfortable and unsettled.

I wasn't always so decisive. I had to learn to make choices and make them wisely. There was a time when I felt very much like that little girl who did not have the ability to choose where she lived or with whom. For many years I remained in the company of those who brought on stress and anxiety. I did not believe I had a choice and that erroneous belief convinced me that I was powerless. However, my decision not to choose peace was still a decision. I was not powerless. I was choosing stress and anxiety by remaining in stressful and anxiety-producing situations. Being still does not always equate to being indecisive nor patient. At times being still is simply choosing where you are instead of choosing where you desire to be.

Failure or refusal to act is still very much a choice. It is a choice to remain. Most remain where they are because it feels safe and involves low or less risk. Where have you made a choice to remain? Unhappy? Unsettled? Overworked? Underemployed? Unappreciated? Depressed? Exhausted? Unfulfilled? You are not powerless. You are not required to live a life that someone else determined for you. You do not have to live out the expectations of others, no matter how lofty or lowly. This is your time. This is your life, but before you can exert your power, you must choose to acknowledge it and walk in it. It's your choice.