Breakthrough

The other day I saw a meme on social media that stated, "Your breakthrough is right around the corner." People commented notes of agreement and even more signaled that they liked the image. For many, this sentiment, and others like it, supply just enough hope to believe that life will improve. Hope is a great feeling that we should remain connected to, but when will we reach the point where we are not simply hoping for life to get better? When will we realize that life can get better now?

Breakthrough. Increase. Progress. Furtherance. Upgrade. All of these words define forward movement and forward movement is key to being fulfilled. Most desire a fulfilled life. Yet few can define what that is and even fewer are doing what's needed to reach it. Somehow we have given up on our part. We either accept living in a perpetual state of want and simply hope for more or we accept wanting more as our constant state of being. Few have the courage or feel deserving enough to do what's necessary to reach for the life they desire.

You weren't intended to live your life waiting. Your life is meant to be fully lived and better, no matter how you picture it, can exist now. Better can be how you start today. Better can be your life the moment that you decide to pursue it. You don't have to wait until...until you finish school, until you have a better job, until you have a partner, or until you have a bigger house, a better car, or more money. You can have better right now!

Your breakthrough can occur now. Breaking through is mental. Breaking through is a change in your mind. Breaking through requires that you stop thinking the same way. You deserve more. You can do more. You are meant for more. Your life is worth more. You are valued more. Once you breakthrough the negative messages in your mind, you can start behaving in ways that will lead you to the life you desire. Your breakthrough is not merely waiting around the corner; your breakthrough is right here, right now. What are you going to do about it?

Honor Yourself

My tolerance is typically high. Even when I think someone is being intentionally insensitive, I try not to hoard or internalize that insensitivity. Most of the time I am successful, but I received a message recently that pushed me off center. Instead of ushering in calm, I willingly and joyfully entertained clever responses with the purpose of making that person aware that his/her attempt to insert more significance in my life than s/he had was futile. I had to consider, though, if that was true, why was I exerting energy trying to prove it? Most importantly, would my fiesty and venomous retort honor me?

Most people treat us according to their perception of what we can do for them or whether they feel threatened by our behavior. Our perceptions and life choices can reveal similarities or differences in others that they admire or despise. In many cases, we impact others in ways that we are unaware of and would be surprised to discover. What happens, though, when we are treated with less than kindness? How do we remain committed to our peace of mind when others threaten it for reasons we are not fully aware?

I read that message repeatedly. I sent it to a few friends to compare their reactions so that I could determine if I interpreted it appropriately. They confirmed my suspicion—the message was not well-intentioned. Yet I still had a decision to make. Would I let his/her intentions, even if they were purely evil and I don't believe they were that far down the spectrum, change me by changing the way I normally deal with insensitivity? Would I let this one message push me from my center?

There may be occasions when you are the recipient of insensitivity and intentional rudeness. Someone may treat you in a way that is unjustified. Someone may displace negative feelings on you because you are a safe target. Someone may intentionally try to hurt you for no other reason than s/he is unhappy. It is not up to you to figure it out, diagnose it, or get even. What you are responsible for is honoring yourself. Honor yourself when others don't. Honor yourself when others don't try. Honor yourself when others don't understand. Honor yourself even when others don't care enough to honor themselves.

Not That Special

One of the hardest lessons we learn comes at the hands of others, but we serve as accomplices. It doesn't matter how young we are when that lesson first arrives or how many times it repeats, we are still surprised and hurt when it comes around again, as if history hadn't already whispered, tapped us, then shouted, shoved, and finally thrown a brick at us prior. We promise we will never allow it again...until someone else comes along and we consider ourselves much more special (and less rational) than we should.

Maya Angelou said, "When people show you who they are, believe them." That phrase is both simple and profound. I've used it to validate my choices, evaluate relationships, and protect myself. Yet my validating, evaluating, and protecting self still wanted to be more—more unique, more deserving, and quite frankly, more special than the truth. I believed that someone wouldn't treat me the same way that s/he treats everyone else because our relationship, i.e., me, was special. I thought I was special enough to have a more genuine and loving version of someone who may not have even cared to be more genuine or more loving.

If someone is unkind to others, the day will come when she is unkind to you. If someone is careless with other people's feelings, he will have moments when he is careless with yours. The person who gossips, exaggerates, is inconsiderate, disappoints, lies on, ignores, or is selfish with others doesn't do so because everyone, except you, deserves it. When you hear that first whisper, listen. When you feel that gentle tap, take heed. Don't wait for the shout or the shove—and certainly not the brick—to believe people when they show you who they are.