Growth Spurt

Throughout various times in our lives we have growth spurts. We are most familiar with growth spurts of adolescence. We remember classmates returning from summer vacation six inches taller, with more bass in their voices, and a fuller shape than before. Yet that heightened stature, deepened tone, and fuller figure came with complications. Appetites and sleeping patterns changed and we experienced pain or discomfort which led to—or more realistically, added to—teenaged moodiness. Despite the changes and discomforts, if given a choice we would willingly go through the uncomfortable phases all over again in order to gain what the growth spurts produced.

Over the years I have developed effective ways to cope with both familiar, lifelong tests and brand new ones. I’ve recognized what I need to do to work through my emotions and move forward. However, over the last year I stopped getting the same results. Life would throw me a test, I would employ my tried and true strategies, and progress didn’t come. After the first few times I thought it was a fluke, but eventually I had to acknowledge that my faithful strategies had become ineffective.
I wasn't satisfied knowing that my coping strategies were no longer working. I have a constant, internal—and sometimes annoying—need to process so I needed to know why. I needed to know if it was something I’d done—or not done. I needed to know how I reached this place and what I could do to ensure that it never happened again. I needed to know if this was my fault.

The short answer is no, it wasn’t a matter of fault. My proven coping strategies stopped working because what once sustained me was no longer sufficient. I had grown. To grow is to increase, expand, and thrive. I couldn’t increase and repeat the same actions. I couldn’t expand and maintain the same thought process. I couldn’t thrive and strive for outdated results. I needed to stretch, think larger, and act with greater focus. Growth simply demands more.

If your coping strategies are no longer giving you the same results don’t assume that you are regressing. Either the impact of your life challenges have become more complex or what used to sustain you is no longer enough. In either case, it isn’t a fault of yours. You are in the midst of a mental growth spurt.

Growth spurts are uncomfortable. Mental growth spurts require more spiritual nourishment and connection. They will shake your patterns and shift your emotional state. Fortunately, that is a temporary part of a permanent change. Once you get through the painful and unnerving period, you will stand taller, stronger, wiser, and better equipped to deal with life’s challenges. Trust the process, trust those you have permitted to stand in your inner circle, and trust yourself as your transition through your growth spurt.

Free Your Truth

All of us have had to live with at least one situation that has threatened to break us. It could have been a death, a divorce, an illness, being abandoned by a parent, a physical challenge, physical or sexual abuse, and the list goes on. We have all been shaken by a truth that is harsh, painful, and led us to doubt if we had the strength to endure. The important thing to ask ourselves is how we are living with that truth.

I’ve met quite a few people coping with their truth by refusing to cope. Some cover truth in a cloak of anger or sadness. Others push their truth in a corner and busy themselves with work, their children, or church activities. There are some who are so disturbed by their truth that they reject it. All of these “coping” mechanisms are temporary and will ultimately be met with demise. Truth is not meant to be concealed. That’s why lives are so negatively impacted when people deceive themselves and others. Health issues arise. Bad decisions are made. Relationships suffer. Our truth, as complicated and painful as it may be, is an extension of who we are and when we stifle our truth, we really stifle ourselves.

I am not at all suggesting that the world needs to know what your truth is, but you do. You need to know your truth, acknowledge it, and if it’s something that can and needs to be altered, put in the work to make that happen. If your truth is something a bit more absolute (someone has died, you are dealing with a past trauma, etc.), you still need to acknowledge it in order for you to work—and yes, it is work—through the emotions associated with it. To acknowledge it is not the same as to lie down and take it or to let it rule over you. To acknowledge your truth is to tell yourself, “Yes, this happened, but…” or “Yes, that occurred, and I felt ______, but…” You are the one who can conclude that sentence. You determine the direction your life takes. You decide how much that truth impacts your life. Don’t cover it. Don’t push it in a corner or under a rug. Set your truth free and in turn, you’ll be free.