Prevention and Protection

There has been an influx of industry centered around protection and prevention. Corporations have loss prevention departments. Our homes and cars have alarm systems. More women are carrying mace and pepper spray. Self-defense class registrations are on the rise. Fear has prompted us to take action, be prepared, and practice prevention. While we see the logic in protecting our property and physical safety, we have not taken the same level of responsibility when it comes to our mental and emotional health.

We have all encountered someone who isn't healthy for us. Whether it is a friend, former lover, sibling, parent, or other relative, at least one person demands that we create boundaries. This certainly includes those who have physically harmed us, but physical harm isn't the only sign of dysfunction. There are some who have harmed us with their negative words and sentiments. Some have harmed us with their encouragement or pressure to participate in negative behaviors. Some have harmed us by their habitual disappointment. Harm, whether physical or emotional can have a debilitating impact. It changes the way we view the world and our place in it. When we allow the same negativity into our lives, we perceive negativity in everything, including for our future and within ourselves.

If you have alarm systems for your physical property or purchased mace or pepper spray or taken a self-defense class it demonstrates that you place value on your safety. However, if you truly value your well being, you have to also value your mind and emotions. Before you digest the words and opinions of others, consider whether they are helpful or harmful and more importantly, if those words are true. As you assess levels of investment in your friendships and relationships, consider how valued and respected you feel when in the presence of those friends and love interests. Take measures to protect your mental health and prevent the theft of your joy and peace.

Work Through Your Fears

Fight fear instead of running from it.

Every October there is an abundance of movies, activities, and products designed to elicit fear. For nearly a month we are treated with countless opportunities to be scared. We can sit in a theater and test our nerves for 120 minutes. We can nervously walk through haunted houses, laughing at our friends for screaming like children and hoping they don't hear us when we do the same. Fear is a multibillion dollar industry.

Outside of entertainment, fear is most often a deterrent. When we're afraid we run. We create as much distance as possible between ourselves and whatever is causing us to be scared. However, there are times when what we fear most is exactly what we need to embrace.

I spent a significant amount of energy investing in an unrestrained lifestyle. I took pride in having the ability to travel—and at times relocate—whenever I wanted. My understanding of living liberated was limited. Freedom is complex, though. It is not simply the ability to have choices. It is not merely the absence of commitment. While I was able to hop on planes and rack up passport stamps, I was also avoiding, hoarding, and hiding.

What I needed most was what I feared most. I needed to stop avoiding setting healthy boundaries. I needed to stop hoarding my hurt. I needed to stop hiding behind my smiles. Before I could be free I had to experience safety, something I lost long ago. Feeling safe required me to expose all that I had been avoiding, hoarding, and hiding. My freedom was directly tied to my greatest fear. I needed to trust so that I could learn to feel safe because without feeling safe I couldn't be free.

What do you desire most for your life? Happiness? Love? Peace? Freedom? Your greatest desire is connected to your greatest fear. It will stretch your mental strength, test your emotional intelligence, and challenge everything you know. When you work through your fear—and it is work—you will discover a better, stronger, and fuller you. You will find yourself as you were created and intended to be, living the life you desire most.

Read last week's post, Change the Message.