Get Real

Before we can experience true success we have to be honest with ourselves. That may seem like a no-brainer, but many of us waste energy and time chasing a job or an idea instead of chasing our dream. Chasing our dream is hard enough already with fear and doubt trying to clog our minds. We should not complicate matters by being untruthful with ourselves.

Just two years ago I was excited to start graduate school. I’d spoken to someone from admissions, researched the requirements, and started the application process. This may not surprise those of you who know that I graduated recently, but what you may find surprising is that I was preparing to start a master’s program in business, not in English. My undergraduate degree was in business so it seemed logical to pursue an advanced degree in business. The problem with this rationale is that I was making a decision based on a choice I’d made at eighteen-years-old. I failed to consider all that had happened in my life since I received my first degree. I didn’t think about how much I had changed since then. I was ignoring the sense of purpose I’d found in creative writing. I allowed the pursuit of a job to lead my actions instead of allowing the pursuit of self-fulfillment to direct my path.

I would like to encourage you to be your own advocate. Be honest with yourself when it comes to making major life decisions. Ask yourself a few key questions and don’t be afraid to be truthful. Is the direction you’re headed pointing you closer to your ultimate goal? Are you pursuing your purpose? Are you doing all you can to ensure your success or are you simply hoping for the best? Is your behavior indicative of your desire? 

I called a close friend and told her that I was preparing to start my MBA. Instead of being excited for me she asked, “Myla, in ten years, will you still be satisfied knowing that you have an MBA?” Without hesitation I said, “No.” She then asked, “Then why are you getting an MBA?” I was getting an MBA because I thought it was what I should do in order to get a job. She and I had been friends entirely too long for me to give her that weak answer, but that weak answer satisfied me because I wasn’t being honest with myself. I got so caught up in the activity of applying to graduate school that I didn’t bother asking if I was making the right choice. I am relieved and so happy that all of my MBA talk halted that day. Ask the questions. Get real in your answers. You’ll be so glad you did.

Reach Instead of Retreat

There is a gap between our reality and the future we envision. For some that gap is small. Some have taken necessary steps to approach their desired lifestyle and have consistently progressed toward their vision. Others have such a large gap between reality and desire that they are too frightened, overwhelmed, and discouraged to even try. No matter where you fall on the spectrum or how at odds your reality is with your desire it is always in your best interest to reach instead of retreat.

The problem that most people have with reaching is that it requires more. To reach is to stretch and take those extra steps or work those extra hours when everybody else is comfortable, taking a break or resting. Reaching requires strength. To reach is to step out on your own at times, leaving behind comforts and familiarity. Reaching requires better. To reach is to leave behind good and acceptable in order to pursue great and incredible. Simply put, reaching is harder.

Retreating is far less complicated. Retreating leads you on a crowded, boring, and unfulfilling road. To retreat is to surrender, go back, give up, and return to a place, lifestyle, or group of people you once left or removed yourself from. To retreat is to throw up your hands and decide that your life and your dreams aren’t worth the extra effort.

Consider the gap between your reality and your desire. Have you been reaching to close that gap or have you been retreating and making that gap larger? What you’re afraid of is not bigger than the greatness inside of you. Whatever fatigue you may experience while reaching is not nearly as exhausting as realizing that you’ve spent your entire life working on someone else’s vision. Whatever temporary discomfort you may feel as you stretch yourself will permanently develop a much stronger and more purposeful you. When you examine your life and the direction it is headed please keep in mind that easy doesn't equal living a life at ease.