The Truth

Traffic was unusually heavy on my way home one evening because of a festival. As I looked ahead, the closer the exits approached downtown, the more congested the exit ramps became. I had a decision to make. I could continue to inch along for the next few miles or I could exit early and drive through the neighborhood. Regardless of what I chose, the traffic had already impacted my ride home. My decision would influence how much later I would arrive, but it would not reverse or change the truth that I'd been stuck in traffic.

Circumstances can cause us to feel stuck, like we are left with little to no options. We all face life's traffic jams that require us to make decisions. We can remain in our traffic—the things that didn't go as planned, the hurtful things others have said and done, the poor choices we made, and the choices someone else made that affected us—and tell the stories repeatedly. We tell these stories because they give us comfort. We repeat these stories because we believe that they justify why we haven't reached our destinations of peace, joy, and fulfillment.

You may feel like your life has turned into one big traffic jam. You feel stagnant, as if you aren't moving forward and you can't start over. You may have a history filled with rationale on why you took the path you took. Your childhood may have been less than stellar. Your romantic relationships might mirror slapstick comedies more than a moving romance. Your professional career may be inconsistent and uninspiring, but all of that exists in yesterday. As long as your internal dialogue is focused on what was, your external life can't become what's possible. Your stories should be used help you process, not hinder your progress. Truth is meant to liberate and bring clarity, not to keep you confined and clouded. Don't use the truth as an excuse.

The Power of Your Thoughts

Imagine having a friend who rarely has a kind word and constantly spews harsh criticism. Imagine every time you eat anything from a salad to a bowl of ice cream her saying, "You need to loose weight," or "You're so fat." Imagine how you would feel if when you saw someone you found attractive that friend telling you, "S/he couldn't possibly be interested in you. You'll be single forever." Imagine her telling you every morning, "You don't matter." Consider how you would feel about yourself hearing this friend say, "You're not good enough. Not for a better job. Not for a partner. Not for a life of meaning." How long would you allow her to be a part of your life? How long would it take before you kept your distance, stopped taking her calls, or simply told her to shut up?

This example seems extreme, but sadly, this kind of discouraging conversation is common. It may not reflect how any of your friends speak to you, but the sentiments are familiar because this is the same type of messaging that is allowed in your head. You wouldn't permit this kind of disregard from others, but what happens when the culprit of cruelty is you? Do you fully understand the magnitude of the damage you are doing to yourself? And if you do, are you ready to stop?

What you say to yourself is either working for you or against you. There is no middle ground. Your thoughts aren't without consequence or impact. Your thoughts have a direct influence because your future is scripted by your internal dialogue. You surround yourself with those who support your beliefs and those who do not support your beliefs are dismissed. You act in ways that confirm what you think. Essentially, what you tell yourself is how you live. You constantly seek confirmation on what you believe about yourself.

Your life is not over, too far gone, nor ruined. Stop telling yourself that! You are not worthless, broken, nor unlovable. Stop telling yourself that! Your desires are not silly, unattainable, nor impossible. Stop telling yourself that! You are afraid to believe the truth—that you have worth, that you are valuable, and that you deserve love—because you are afraid to hope. You have convinced yourself that it's better to not have expectations and be surprised than to have them and be disappointed. You have convinced yourself to live fearfully instead of fully. You have convinced yourself to avoid instead of accept.

If you want a different life, think differently. If you want to be better, think better thoughts. If you want to feel more fulfilled, focus your mind on fulfillment. Transformation is attainable when you are ready to acknowledge and manage your thoughts and what you believe about yourself.