Live in Real Life

After a particularly unsettling few weeks I scheduled an appointment for a massage. I ventured out on a frigid Saturday when I could have easily stayed bundled up on my couch or swinging from my hammock so a professional could work out the two knots in my back and the knots of worry taking up residence in my mind. As I shed myself of the layers of clothing that February in Michigan demands, I slid my cell phone into the pocket of my plush robe.

I walked over to the relaxation lounge, took a few sips of refreshingly cold water, and sat down. As I waited for the masseuse, I pulled out my phone to virtually check in to the salon. Before I could type anything I thought about the ridiculousness of the scene. I came to the spa to relax, to free myself and there I was, being captive to a small electronic device. It wasn't necessary for me to check in via my phone, I needed to check in by being present, in that moment. I slid my phone back in my pocket and took another sip of water. This time I noticed that the water had a faint strawberry flavor, something that hadn't previously registered because I was too busy fiddling with my phone.

I am the first to admit that I love the benefits offered by technology. I love that in seconds I can let someone know I am thinking of him/her by sending a quick text message. It is wonderful that I can snap a photo of an amazing sunset, beach scene, humorous sign, or fabulous meal and share it instantly. It is reassuring to know that if I need to call someone instantly I can. However, convenience has turned into unhealthy dependence.

Many times we are unable to disconnect, even if it's for limited amounts of time and this causes us to miss what is taking place right in front of our faces. We aren't fully receptive to the sights, sounds, smells, feelings, and tastes we could experience firsthand. We aren't fully engaged with those who are in our presence. We are so busy checking in via our phones that we have checked out of living. The same devices that were intended to help us increase contact and be more social have led us to be less personal and superficially social. We have become so fearful of missing something that we are missing everything.

Experience your life in real life. Fully engage in the presence of others. Appreciate the sensations of your senses as you go through your day. Imagine actually being social instead of feigning it through social media! Life is meant to be lived out loud and in full color, not muted through a screen.

Audacity

Ziplining in Belize

Audacity. Nerve. Courage. No matter what you call it, we all need audacity in order to live well. Unfortunately, some of us think that we don’t have the right to be bold or we don’t possess what it takes to live courageously. The truth is we already have everything within us to live life with bravado. We all have the capacity to be greater than we’ve ever been. Some of us simply need to change our minds.

Everything we want to accomplish begins with a thought. Before we apply for a job we have to believe that we are capable of performing the required tasks. Before we start a new friendship we have to tell ourselves that we are worthy of a new friend. Before we pursue any goal we must persuade ourselves that we have what we need in order to reach it. Sadly, many of us don’t believe we are capable, worthy, or sufficient because we feed ourselves doubt and fear instead of encouragement and gumption.

Our internal dialogue is vital to our level of success, how we feel about ourselves, and our mental stability. When faced with new opportunities, what do you tell yourself? Do you automatically list why you should not apply for that job or rationalize why that friendship will not work or convince yourself that your goals are too haughty? I challenge you to change your mind. Life will not always be unkind or unfavorable to you. Instead of convincing yourself that an opportunity will not work, give yourself room to imagine more. Allow yourself to embrace possibility instead of clutching fear. The same amount of energy and creativity it takes to imagine the worst is what is required to visualize the best. Believe that you have the capacity to be greater than you’ve ever been and then give yourself permission to live your life with some audacity.

Breaking Barriers

More years ago than I care to admit, I told my parents that I wanted to spend a semester living on a ship, sailing around the world. I can’t remember their initial reactions, but I imagine they were both proud and extremely curious. No one I knew had ever done anything like it—not even close! Besides fighting in a war, no one in my family had even traveled outside of the country. I’m sure they wondered where I got the nerve to think that I could do something so unusual and so fantastic.

I believe that every one of us has at least one opportunity to do or become something greater than what we’ve been exposed to or have personally witnessed. Your concept of doing greater could be to start your own company, pursue a creative career, research a cure for a debilitating disease, travel the world, or start a non-profit organization. No matter what, you are absolutely equipped and able to live a life outside of the norm and more than your surroundings have offered you. If you dream of becoming the first person in your family or neighborhood, or even the first person of your ethnic background, religion, or gender to accomplish a goal, there’s a reason why you’ve been entrusted with that particular goal. Someone needs to break that barrier and it’s quite possible that that someone is you!

Fortunately, my dream of sailing around the world did come true. Had I focused on the fact that no one I knew had ever done so, I could have allowed my excitement to give way to anxiety and missed out on one of the most influential experiences of my life. You don't need anyone to go before you to clear the way or give you permission to live out your dream. When it comes to breaking down barriers someone always has to be first. Why not you? Release yourself from the limiting idea that because no one in your family, from your side of town, with your last name, of your ethnicity, or of your gender hasn’t accomplished something that it indicates or predicts your level of greatness. You are an individual. You determine how far you can go. Besides, someone has to be first. You might as well be the one.

Get in the Game

We are given countless opportunities to watch others put it all on the line. That's why singing and dancing competitions and sporting events are so popular. We love to witness the emotion that results from the culmination of years of determination play out in front of us. It's compelling, entertaining, thrilling, and gratifying to experience victory. Celebrating the success of others is fantastic, but when was the last time you believed in yourself with the same fervor, intensity, and confidence? When was the last time you actually put it all on the line?

Anyone who knows anything about me knows that I love, love, love the NCAA men's basketball tournament. I cheer, talk trash, make predictions, and anxiously await the outcomes. As much as I love March Madness I would do myself a major injustice being more enthusiastic about a basketball tournament than I am about improving my life. After all the games end and the tournament is over, I am still left with me. I cannot exert more excitement and exuberance over something I enjoy than I exert trying to ensure my own victories.

I'm not at all suggesting that it's wrong to be excited at the success of others, but everything needs proper perspective. Consider your own talents, skills, purpose, and life track. What have you done and are actively doing to put it all on the line to ensure your success? Instead of observing others pour out their heart and soul and cheering them on begin to use some of that same energy to pour your heart and soul and cheer yourself on. Don't reserve all of your fanatical zeal for your favorite singer, dancer, athlete, or team. Live joy and exhilaration on your own behalf. Put it all on the line for your life. Stop being a spectator. It's time for you to get in the game.