Love Without Fear

People will test us, especially the ones we love. In relationships imperfections, backgrounds, situations, and botched expectations combine and create misunderstandings, confusion, and hurt. Our first reaction, while often genuine, is usually not the most sensible. Gifting ourselves with a moment to evaluate decreases the chances that we’ll be overly emotional and complicate what is already difficult and uncomfortable. It is far more valuable to have an intentional response instead of a spontaneous retaliation. 

Anger is the most common emotion tied to retaliation, but my experience with this lesson involved fear. I carried the assumption that people would choose to walk out of my life if they got too close. I feared them not loving me enough to stay once they moved beyond my positive demeanor and perpetual smile. My fear took on the form of retaliation when I failed to exercise the patience needed to have an intentional, loving response. Maintaining relationships while clutching that overbearing fear limited the depth of those connections and caused confusion, distress, and anxiety. In order for me to be healthy individually and as a friend, I needed to love without fear. 

Irrational and overly emotional behavior or internal dialogue is rooted in fear. In order to decrease this damaging behavior and internal dialogue we must learn how to love without fear. When we love without fear we can exercise patience and give ourselves and those we love space, time, and sensitivity when needed. When we love without fear we can extend genuine warmth and thoughtfulness when others need it most, even when it's a sacrifice. When we love without fear we demonstrate selflessness. It's only when we love without fear that we are able to fully give and receive love.

Selfless Connections

Connections are increasingly vital. Everything from job searching to dating requires all of us to polish up on our interpersonal skills. Although our social connections have implications that far exceed what they used to, we are also ironically in a place where many are only making associations that are self-serving. While this type of networking has its place, how many of us take the time to selflessly be a source of inspiration to others?

By nature we are interconnected. At various phases of our lives we have benefitted from the presence of parents/guardians, peers and friends, and advisors or mentors. As we try to make our mark in the world we aren’t meant to solely surround ourselves with those who give to us. We are also meant to give and influence others without asking for anything in return. Whether it’s neighbors, church members, or even younger relatives, we should impart inspiration into others.

You may not think you have much to give, but encouragement and support make a major difference. If you have stumbled, made some mistakes, and bumped your head a few times, why not share the lessons you learned to make the journey of others less treacherous? If you pursued a career that is difficult, why not offer valuable expertise or guidance to someone aspiring to reach your level? Maybe you didn’t have a parent/guardian, older sibling, or mentor to help you transition into adulthood. Ensure that the young people in your life don’t share that same experience. Your care and concern is not only valuable in the lives of others, but you’ll also be filled with pride and gratification each time you witness someone you encourage overcome fears, pursue goals, and succeed. Uplift the young people in your life. Use your life to launch other lives. Your most meaningful connections often begin when you start from a place of selfless generosity.