You Have Worth

Words absolutely do have meaning. The phrases that we say to ourselves carry significant weight. Don’t believe me? Think about those miraculous days when your hair fully cooperates, your clothes fit exquisitely, your color scheme accentuates your skin tone, and that spritz of cologne/perfume sets everything off perfectly. You look in the mirror, smile, and say, “I look good!” That short realization changes your mind. You walk with your head held high. Confidence oozes from the rhythm of your stride. You smile more. You feel better. All from a single acknowledgement. One positive, encouraging, affirming statement influences your walk and what you think of yourself. Imagine what has happened internally as a result of the messages you have been telling yourself, day after day, for years. What do you say most often? Think about it for a moment.

I wish I was prettier.

I’m fat.

I’m lazy.

I’m not smart.

I hate my thighs/nose/height.

Whether you realize it or not, the messages you replay in your mind influence you. They impact the way you walk and how often you smile, but even more vital is that what you tell yourself dictates what you think you deserve. It’s not enough to walk with your head held high only on the days you feel like being kind to yourself. It’s not enough to only smile on the days you feel extra attractive. It’s not enough to accept the least that people give because that’s what you have convinced yourself that you deserve. No matter how attractive, smart, or deserving you feel, that does not equate to worthiness. Your worth is not conditional. You are worth positive reinforcement, kindness, and love simply because you exist.

Most have been hearing and telling themselves cruel messages for years. If that’s you, let’s start with something simple. If you have difficulty complimenting yourself then start by saying, “I have worth.” You don’t need a reason or a justification. You don’t need to add anything more. Simply put, you have worth.

You, yes you, have worth. Even in your non-perfect, still improving state, you have worth. Even if you want to lose weight, gain some muscle tone, or grow your hair out, you have worth. Even if you want to, but haven’t become a spouse, a parent, or a college graduate, you have worth. Even if your family constantly compares you to someone else, your friends seem to have more of life figured out, or you can’t seem to get out of a slump, you have worth. No matter how far you feel from your goals, what others have said about you, or how others have treated you, you still and always will have worth. Make sure that the messages you tell yourself, the phrases you replay in your mind, confirm your worth instead of chipping away at it, one negative comment at a time.

Esteem Yourself

Self-esteem is fairly simple to define, yet complicated to apply. It is essentially the manner that we consider ourselves. It is an assessment of our worth. Sadly, many people relinquish undue leverage to just one aspect of their lives when evaluating their value and allow external entities to adversely influence what should be generated internally.

We typically give one or two glaring aspects of ourselves too much weight when considering how we esteem ourselves. To illustrate, think of how many people attribute a sense of worth based on their outward appearance. Physical characteristics tend to carry heavy precedence over how we think of ourselves. If you believe you are physically inadequate or that you don’t measure up to some arbitrary standard of beauty, you may use that as justification to regard yourself as less. Less what? Less deserving, less desirable, less valuable, less worthy. Whether you are short or tall, full-figured or thin, have long or short hair, it doesn’t deem you to be less anything. You matter. You have worth. Your value is not solely tied to one aspect of who you are. Your physical traits are merely a part of you and they aren’t even the most valuable part.

The way you look doesn’t reveal anything about how kind, loving, or generous you are. It doesn’t reveal whether or not you are a good listener, friend, or caregiver. It says nothing about your sense of humor, tolerance, or compassion. Your physical attributes cannot be the totality of your source of self-esteem just as none of your personality traits can cancel out the others. You are a complete person and how you view yourself should be based on a complete picture. Don’t lessen how much you esteem yourself by dismissing or minimizing all of the amazing qualities that define you.

Equally damaging as it is to consider your worth solely on the way you look—or any other single characteristic—it is detrimental for you to give someone or something else the power to dictate how you value yourself. Maybe someone made comments that confirmed your own insecurities. Maybe your family has jokingly teased you for years about something that has made you caused you to become self-conscious. Maybe you were mistreated or abused. Either of these scenarios can lead you to carry a low sense of self-worth. However, you are capable of a mental alteration. If you find yourself replaying hurtful statements made by others, try replacing those hurtful statements with the truth, not their truth. If painful memories have you convinced that you are worthless, consider the possibility that you survived for a purpose. People with a purpose aren’t worthless, and if you are still living, you have purpose.

The value you place on your life will influence your decision-making and eventually determine the course of your life. It’s entirely too important for you to base your assessment of yourself on one aspect of your life. When considering your worth, consider your life in it’s entirety—not just your physical traits, a major regret, or even a series of bad choices. Your life adds up to more. You are more. Your self-esteem is too pivotal to be left in the hands of others or to be surrendered to your past. Give yourself the consideration you deserve. You are so worth it.