Need Evolution

As children we are told what we need. Parents/guardians tell us what we need to eat in order to grow. Teachers tell us what we need to read, practice, and study in order to develop intellectually. Over time, though, we are introduced to the concept of choice. We still need food to grow, but we choose what we consume. To develop intellectually, we must continue to read, but our choices expand beyond what's offered in a classroom. What we select may differ drastically from what we've been taught, but we are all responsible for choosing what we need.

More than likely, your parents/guardians made choices based on the same choices their parents/guardians made for them. From food brands to career paths to religion, you may be living out decisions made long ago by someone else. One day, though, you may not be satisfied doing what's always been done. One day you may find yourself drawn in a radically different direction. One day you may find yourself driven by what's possible instead of what's expected. When you opt to blaze trails someone might have a problem with it. And not just anyone, but someone you care for deeply. Someone you respect. Someone you love.

In recent years the need for me to create boundaries became more important than people pleasing. The boundaries went up, the fallout came down. Motivated by habit and their own comfort level, people expressed their displeasure. People I care about. People I love. I had to ask some tough questions. Should I risk my well-being so others could hold onto a false sense of security? Should I stop being honest so others will not have to? Should I choose the comfort of others over my peace of mind?

As you evolve so do your needs. What sustained you at one time will no longer suffice. What was once acceptable will become intolerable. What others want for you may no longer be big enough for where you are going. If what you need conflicts with what others want trust your judgment. Trust that you will have support. The evolution of your needs is a sign of growth which will lead you to step into greater and fulfill your purpose.

Read last week's post, Becoming.

Transform Your Life

I love watching shows that feature tattoo coverups. I am quite amused by the horrible tattoos and the stories affiliated with them, but I am equally impressed by the creative talent of the tattoo artists. While that is enough to justify being entertained for a half hour, there’s another reason that I am so fascinated with tattoo coverup shows. It is nearly therapeutic to see representations of bad decisions transformed into meaningful works of art.

Each day we make decisions. Some are mundane like deciding what to wear or eat, who we’ll call or which street to take. Other decisions—those involving relationships, childrearing, education, and career choices—can cause anxiety. In either case, we deliberate knowing that some consequences of our decisions are irreversible and carry lifelong implications. However, that information is only useful to us today, as we consider future choices. Punishing ourselves over decisions we’ve already made is not useful, beneficial, nor wise. We simply need to start today.

You may have made questionable choices that have had long-term consequences. No matter the reasons for making those choices, your life is not too far gone. As long as you have tomorrow you have the ability to redirect. If you are willing, you can change your course. When you have the motivation and stamina needed to simply continue, you can change your life. Just as someone can walk into a tattoo parlor to cover an image that no longer depicts who s/he is, you can reconfigure the parts of your life that do not reflect who you’ve become. If an artist can take something permanent and unappealing and use its features to develop something aesthetically and emotionally pleasant, you can transform your life to more adequately reflect its complete and complex beauty.