Becoming

Between the ages of fifteen and twenty-three we are bombarded with future-focused questions. Well-intentioned family and friends ask what we would like to study, what universities we’re applying to, and what we would like to do for the rest of our lives. These questions are appropriate and can help young people place some attention on the next phase of life. The problem is we are conditioned to focus on acquiring. We want to acquire a degree, a job, and/or a career. We want these things because they lead to more things—clothes, jewelry, a house, cars, vacations, etc. However, fulfillment is not in acquiring, fulfillment is in becoming.

Financial gain and status can enhance quality of life. Liberty can be found in having. Its greatest benefit is the freedom to make choices instead of having them made for you. Excess provides access. Yet there are also trappings found in having and without a proper foundation, the stressors choke the freedom. Our goal should not be to acquire. Our goal should be to become.

There is nothing wrong with niceties. There is nothing wrong with wanting material things. Yet when the majority of our energy is spent chasing a status and stuff we open ourselves up to disappointment, frustration, and discontent because we are chasing a moving target, one that will never bring satisfaction, no matter how much we amass. Our primary goal is externally focused so we are internally disconnected. The good news is that we don't have to remain disconnected. The moment we decide we prefer fulfillment over fillers, we can shift our attention from acquiring to becoming—becoming better, becoming fulfilled, and becoming authentic. When we focus on becoming we can't help but attract and attach ourselves to the benefits associated with being our best.

Read last week's post, Work Through Your Fears.

Use Ambition Wisely

My dad and I often had conversations about goals—mainly because I often talked about the need to set new ones. The last time we had this discussion my dad told me that he set three goals in his life: graduate from college, get married, and have children.

I have always been ambitious. I imagined myself doing amazing things. In class I would sit next to one of my closest friends—another ambition addict—and talk about life post-high school. I will spare you the details, but please believe that our discussions were fabulous.

Ambition is good if it encourages forward movement. It is not intended to dishearten you or lead you to feelings of inadequacy or apathy. I will always encourage people to set goals and dream dreams, but it’s also necessary to maintain balance. When we only prepare ourselves for the next phase we are not present. When we incessantly reach for more we may fail to appreciate what is directly in front of us. When we constantly chase we never renew.

Being ambitious has led me to wonderful and fulfilling life experiences, yet one of the many things that my dad taught me is that some of us are not chasers. Some of us know exactly what we want out of life and seek it out early. My dad was not a chaser. He fulfilled the goals he set for himself and spent the last thirty years of his life enjoying what resulted from his hard work. My dad set his goals, achieved them, and lived a life that not only he loved, but everyone who knew him admired. I will always be grateful to my dad for teaching me to use ambition wisely.