Possibility

From the time we learned to talk, we were asked, "What do you want to be when you grow up?" If it wasn't our parents asking, it was our aunts/uncles, neighbors, church members, parents of friends, and teachers. Once we reached our final year of high school, the question changed. "What do you want to be," became, "What do you want to do?" It's a slight variation, but a significant one. It's the first time we become aware that according to others, our identities, our lives, are defined by doing, not being. It's the first time that reality speaks louder than possibility.

As we grow older we consider some tough realities. What if what I wanted to be isn't what I will do? What if I cannot become what I said? What if doing something (getting a job, earning a living) is more important than becoming someone (a writer, an artist)? What if life requires me to choose?

Possibility is an amazing, liberating, and exciting concept. Possibility can motivate and inspire. When we fully grasp and accept the possibility that exists in our lives, we become powerful. Unfortunately, as we get older, our notion of possibility diminishes. We lose the confidence to dream and develop an unhealthy, consistent trust in fear. We fear failing. We fear disappointment. We fear fully living. We take our fear and live to avoid it. We convince ourselves that we can't fail, be disappointed or become a disappointment if we give up possibility for what's likely and safe. Our lives reflect our fears rather than our dreams.

Have you lost perspective on what's possible in your life? Have you relinquished the confidence to envision more? Does your life reflect your fears rather than your dreams?

Possibility is not just for other people. Possibility is not lost on you. Possibility is not limited to your conditions or assumptions. Life may have required you to make tough choices. Some of your decisions may not have been your best. Still, you get to decide again. Today, you get to determine what happens next. You have the opportunity to accept possibility no matter how many times you rejected it prior. What do you want to be? An example of fear or a demonstration of possibility? It's not too late. You are enough. You are more than what you've done. Now, what do you want to be?

Brave Enough to Believe

There is something very special about watching reruns of old television shows. I still laugh aloud when I see The Cosby Show, Livin' Single, and The Golden Girls. When those shows were popular there were things I didn't fully appreciate nor understand due to a lack of life experience, especially when it came to The Golden Girls. Besides them representing a time of collective purpose and consideration, with no hint of the ridiculousness that today's 'reality' tv offers, there's another reason I love these shows. Watching them reminds me of the power that is released when we believe.

I always smile whenever someone appears on reruns who has gone on to find success as a professional actor. As I watch The Cosby Show now I recognize people like Angela Bassett, Mario Van Peebles, Robin Givens, Stacey Dash, Adam Sandler, and countless others I didn't know by name back then. I imagine how excited they must have been to audition, receive a call back, walk on the set, tape the episode, and see it on television for the first time. I fast-forward to now, knowing how their lives evolved. Their bravery to believe in and chase their unconventional dream released the power for them to pursue more.

The life you envision does not have to be impossible. It may be a long shot. It probably requires commitment again, and again, and again. More than likely, you will have to make sacrifices and repeatedly surrender to your purpose. Difficult? Yes. Time consuming? Yes. Frustrating? Absolutely. Here's the reality, though. Living already comes with requirements. Even if you refuse or are too afraid to tap into the power of belief, in order to live you already have to commit and sacrifice. To maintain a job and earn a living you have to show up and sacrifice your time for a paycheck. In order to keep healthy relationships or raise a family you have to be there, present, and sacrifice 'my' for 'our.' If you must commit and sacrifice for what is necessary and who you love, you might as well commit and sacrifice for you.

You could be in the cameo stage of your life. You may be several steps or one big leap from whatever is considered your big break. You could be one connection, one performance, one job, one written piece, one kind word, one volunteer opportunity, one appearance from crossing into the threshold of fulfillment. Wouldn't you rather look back on the cameo phase of your life as where your beliefs were strengthened instead of where they deteriorated? Don't lose sight or give up. Follow the example of those young, eager actors you saw on television all those years ago. Be brave enough to believe and release the power that exists to pursue more.

Evolution of Dreams

While having a conversation about what I wanted to be when I was a kid, I remembered lining up my stuffed animals (and sometimes my less than amused brother) to impart my seven-year-old wisdom. My childhood fascination with teaching was solely based on the perceptions and limited knowledge of a second grader. I’m pretty sure I wanted to be a teacher just so I could write on a chalkboard and tell people what to do.

Our desires are influenced by experience. As we mature and interpret life through a more collective lens, our direction changes. We react and adjust based on history and cognition. When I learned that becoming a teacher required more than writing on a chalkboard and having a captive audience, I no longer wanted to become a teacher. When I was exposed to more career choices and compared them with my natural abilities and interests, I changed my mind. When I was exposed to international travel and developed a love of creative writing, my desires became more complex. All of this—learning, exposure, comparisons, development, and understanding self—combined to create a new dream.

As we grow our dreams grow. However, doubt and discouragement tag along because we assume a change in direction constitutes a mistake or an err in judgment. Change does not equate to an error. We are not designed to be forever satisfied by the same things. When we grow so does our vision and our ability to accept that we have the right to dream.

In addition to thinking that change comes as a result of a mistake we need to correct, we also have to contend with a lack of deservedness. Somehow we have relinquished our ability to accept that we deserve happiness and fullness. The mere thought of taking our lives from good to great—or even from repetitious and bland to exciting and colorful—turns us into self-defeating, overly critical, negative persuaders. We think we're not young enough, not smart enough, not worthy enough, and ultimately, not deserving enough to exist in a world better than our today. Please know that is absolutely not true. You are enough. You are smart enough. You are worth it. You do deserve it. You deserve to grow, achieve more, and step into greater.

It may be late, but it’s not too late. It may be difficult, but it’s not impossible. It may require a financial or time commitment, but the way you currently live already requires a commitment. Why not commit to exceptional instead of settling for acceptable? Change is good, but it must begin with you changing your mind. You’ve grown, matured, and experienced life; let your dreams do the same.